At the annual Al Smith charity dinner on Thursday night, House Speaker Paul Ryan-- perpetually under fire from both supporters and detractors of the president-- showed off his sense of humor. As the keynote speaker, Ryan rolled out some pretty respectable comedy, ribbing both Republicans and Democrats over the course of his remarks.
Here's a compilation of Ryan's best jabs from the dinner:
On Secretary of State Rex Tillerson
"I want to thank Patricia Heaton. Patricia and I do go back a long ways. Because you know what, Patricia Heaton, she is a Hollywood Republican. A Hollywood Republican. That is an oxymoron. Which clearly was the word that Rex Tillerson was searching for."
On Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer
"A lot of people, they ask me, you know, a guy from Wisconsin, what's it like to work with an abrasive New Yorker with a loud mouth? But you know, once you get to know him, Chuck Schumer's not all that bad.
I know why he's been so hard on the president, actually — it has nothing to do with ideology. You see, Chuck's mad that he lost his top donor.
Chuck is 66 years old, which makes him part of the Democratic leadership youth movement."
On the media's preference for Hillary Clinton last November
"When you take a look at where we are this year, just think about it for a second. Think about all that has happened since the last Al Smith dinner. It's been almost a year ago that on November the 8th, countless shocked Americans broke into tears over the election results. But enough about the press."
On the Russia investigation
"You know, we have primaries in the Republican Party these days. My primary opponent in 2016 was endorsed by Sarah Palin. And I'm really not that mad about it, because Sarah and I actually have a lot in common. We both lost for vice president, we both debated Joe Biden. And given the current investigations, I, too, can see Russia from the House."
"The only basic difference between a Catholic Mass and a filibuster is that one ends with a sip of wine and the other ends with an entire bottle."
On former White House chief strategist Steve Bannon
"Here's one that's kind of interesting ... The fact that you learn when you are speaker: I'm now second in line of succession since Steve Bannon has resigned."
On Sen. Ted Cruz's, R-Texas, accidental 'like' of a pornographic tweet
"I personally have learned so much in Congress. For example, I learned that tweeting after midnight is a really bad idea, whether you're President Trump or especially Anthony Weiner. Or Ted Cruz for that matter."
On a classic Trump insult
"You know, at one point, the president actually insulted me. I know that sounds kind of surprising. He described me as a Boy Scout who is boring to talk to. It didn't hurt my feelings. What hurt my feelings was when my wife agreed with him."
Per tradition, the speaker concluded his remarks on a more serious note, reflecting on recent natural disasters and the mass shooting in Las Vegas. "Yes, much has been taken," Ryan said, "but not our spirit. Not our nation's resilience. Not our faith."
Emily Jashinsky is a commentary writer for the Washington Examiner.