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U.S. President Barack 'Hussein' Obama's historic speech in Cairo, Egypt, Thursday appears to have cleared up what Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak now calls "the big Middle East mix up and this silly old religious feud."

"Sometimes it just takes a fresh set of eyes to a look at a problem," said the Israeli leader, as he walked through the Gaza Strip on his way to the new Palestinian homeland for an informal brunch with leaders of Hamas and Fatah. "President Obama was right. We all want the same things. We all have common values. We all worship the same God. I feel like such a knucklehead that I didn't figure this out sooner."

In Iran, President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad welcomed Obama's call for dialogue without preconditions.

"I suppose I've been a bit unreasonable, testy, even dictatorial at times," said the contrite Iranian leader. "After that speech, I feel like my eyes have been opened. How could I have missed all of the common ground we share with America and Israel. I'm going to have Barack over to the house, and let him know that Iran's nuclear ambitions can take a back seat to our desire for true brotherhood and unity. And boy, do I ever owe those Jews a big apology?"

After the speech, leaders of one Arab monarchy after another announced plans to hold democratic elections, release political prisoners, and to allow women the freedom to attend school, to vote, to dress as they please and to run for political office.

Meanwhile, at the Dome of the Rock, in Jerusalem, Jews, Muslims and Christians joined in singing praise to "the one true God called by many names who just wants us all to get along." The worship service was followed by a old-fashioned Southern Baptist picnic with pulled-pork sandwiches, potato salad with bacon bits, and sweet tea.
Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor-in-chief of, the family-friendly news satire site, and anchor of ScrappleFace Network News (SNN), seen on YouTube.