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Scott Ott's Examiner Scrappleface: ACORN CEO orders review of brothel consulting division

By: Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist
September 18, 2009

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.

After a series of hidden-camera videos showed employees of the community organizing group known as the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now in several cities offering advice on how to dodge tax laws to set up a brothel, ACORN's chief executive officer said the organization would conduct a top-to-bottom review of its Brothel Consulting Services Division.

"Obviously, there's been a breach of protocol here," ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis said. "We do not approve of ACORN offices being used for the production of films starring pimps and prostitutes. We are not a film company, and the taxpayer money that funds our operations should not go toward that purpose. If you want to make films about pimps and prostitutes, you get a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts."

ACORN's Brothel Consulting Services Division has strict guidelines regarding the recording of consultation sessions, she said.

"We've reviewed the video and were shocked to discover that confidentiality had been breached by the hidden cameras," Lewis said. "Perhaps the scantily clad prostitute led our staff to forgo the normal wanding and pat-down."

James O'Keefe, 25, and Hannah Giles, 20, who masqueraded as pimp and prostitute in O'Keefe's video, told ACORN staff they wanted to import 13 Central American girls as workers in their sex-for-cash business, and were concerned about the tax implications and how to best accumulate money for O'Keefe's future congressional campaign. ACORN employees gave helpful advice on everything from how to categorize the business for IRS reporting, to the best kind of container to use when burying unreported income in the backyard.

"As you see, our employees were nothing but helpful," Lewis said. "We pride ourselves in offering cheerful, expert service to everyone regardless of race, creed or status as a performing artist."

Lewis added that ACORN "remains committed to President Barack Obama's goal to fundamentally transform the United States of America. And nothing in any of these videos would indicate that we have swerved from that commitment."

Examiner Columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world's leading family-friendly news satire source.




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Reader Comments

All comments on this page are subject to our Terms of Use and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Examiner or its staff. Comment box is limited to 250 words.

Hilary

Sep 17, 2009

Rich white people get corrupt and we fork over billions. Poor black people get corrupt, well now, they must be held accountable.

 

Cam

Sep 18, 2009

Yo Hilary, Acorn has received at least $53 million the last 16 years. And President Obama told them they would "help set the agenda" for the country if/when he won the presidency.

Are you defending this? Or the tax evasion? The voter fraud? The advice for illegal immigrants and underage prostitution? Or all of it?

 

staghounds

Sep 18, 2009

I think her point is that since some people she doesn't like have gotten away with things, then people she likes should get the same free pass.

Makes sense to me.

"Rich white people get corrupt" is a bit unwieldy, though. We could just call it a "Geithner".

 

JamesonLewis3rd

Sep 18, 2009

I would like to point out that this is not about "prostitution" but, rather, trafficking in children as sex slaves.

 

Mark N

Sep 18, 2009

I think Hilary is pointing out that rich people were bailed out by BOTH Bush and Obama administrations. It's OK to have children as sex slaves, so long as liberal policies rule in D.C. To me, ACORN is but one more example of how inept our helth care system will be when Washington ruins (er, I mean, runs) it. When gov't oversight can't do what two people and a camera can, how can we expect a cost savings in health care? As taxpayers, we're the ones who are being played for stupid by just about all of our elected leaders. IT'S TIME FOR THE TAXPAYER'S DEFINITION OF TERM LIMITS: THROW THEM ALL OUT!

 

BFC Cpl Jack

Sep 18, 2009

Teenage sex slaves, where have I heard of this before? Oh yeah, the Japanese Army in World War II, the business model we should all strive to emulate. If ACORN was half as smart as they claim to be they would have declared that they were just performing their part in a "gotcha" spoof of Fox News.

 

olainfree

Sep 18, 2009

"Top to bottom review"? (Pun intended? Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha...

Give it up, Bertha. That committee that you have set up to "audit" the organization is like a bunch of foxes guarding the henhouse.

 

John

Sep 19, 2009

It appears that Obama's nut has been cracked open and found to be rotten to the C.O.R.E.!

Maybe it would have been better if Je$$e Jack$on had been allowed to perform that "surgery" on "Barry" that he wanted to pre-election?

 

Alon

Sep 19, 2009

I early on considered ACORN a criminal and corrupt organization, (which is now in fact proven by the video taken by these two young American "reporters"). I think you can not unfairly say "Birds of a feather flock together" applies to humans as well as to birds.
So, by these standards, Obama, and many other Democratic politicians fit well into this category.
We, as a Nation, must flush these politicians out of our political system, or we are a doomed nation.

 

plowboy

Sep 23, 2009

If we had some GOOD INVESTIGATIVE reporters this Anti Civil Or Riot Now gang would have been exposed several Million dollars ago!

 


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