Columns and OpEds

[Print]  [Email]        

Scott Ott's Examiner Scrappleface: Couric to lead Obama's new elite interrogation unit

By: Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist
August 25, 2009

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.

A new "elite interrogation unit", that President Barack Obama has appointed to quiz terrorism detainees, will apparently be run by CBS News anchor Katie Couric, rather than the Central Intelligence Agency.

If the report from anonymous sources proves accurate, the former NBC "Today" hostess, would head up the High-Value Detainee Interrogation Group, or HIG, under the president's National Security Council. Detainee-questioning sessions would be filmed before a live studio audience in Burbank, California.

"The president wants to ensure that these folks receive all the protections the U.S. Constitution affords other citizens," said White House press secretary Robert Gibbs. "We can't discriminate against them solely on the basis of their involvement in terror cells and their irrevocable commitment to extinguishing the lamp of liberty wherever it flickers."

While Gibbs would not confirm the names of the HIG team members, he admitted that Obama has been impressed with Couric, "since the day she got vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin to confess that she doesn't read any news at all and thus has no idea what's going on outside of Anchorage, Alaska."

Obama apparently believes Couric could also extract information from terror suspects that might prove useful in any felony or misdemeanor trials.

Couric's interrogation team reportedly includes talk show host and media magnate Oprah Winfrey, her colleague Dr. Phil McGraw, Whoopi Goldberg, co-host of ABC's 'The View', and 'Jeopardy's' Alex Trebek, who agreed to the assignment on the condition that suspected terrorists state their answers in the form of a question.

The new HIG unit would represent a clean break from the Bush administration CIA, which Gibbs said, had been engaged in outsourcing negotiations, as late as November of 2008, with former CTU agent Jack Bauer.

Examiner Columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world's leading family-friendly news satire source.




To view this site, you need to have Flash Player 8.0 or later installed. Click here to get the latest Flash player.


Most Popular Headlines





 


 



 

Reader Comments

All comments on this page are subject to our Terms of Use and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Examiner or its staff. Comment box is limited to 250 words.

olainfree

Aug 25, 2009

The bread and circuses of the Obama administration continues. The shallow but dangerous administration is propped up by the easily amused peanut gallery of the sycophantic media.

Will Couric outsource her questions to Sam Nunn? Will Charles Gibson dial up the serious meter of the proceedings by wearing his glasses at half mast and scowling?

 

DaveB

Aug 25, 2009

When they REALLY want to get tough they bring in Larry King. Physical pain will be administered only under the watchful eye (and spike-heeled boots) of Barbara Walters.

 

BFC Cpl Jack

Aug 25, 2009

OT In light of Scotland's release of the Lockerbie terrorist I am proposing a U.S. national boycott of "The Haggis" and just to make the cheese more binding, all Scotch whiskie, whatever way it's spelled.

 


Post a comment


Email:
(This will not be displayed or shared. Privacy Policy)

Display Name:

Comment:




Sports

Suspended NASCAR Sprint Cup driver Jeremy Mayfield chats with attendees during a public auction Friday, Nov. 20, 2009, at his Catawba, N.C. property. As NASCAR prepares to crown a champion in its fina...

Long way from the track, suspended Mayfield holds large auction to help pay for court fight

Jeremy Mayfield sat in the back of his large barn Friday morning about 800 miles from where NASCAR's season-ending weekend was kicking off. Several hundred people surrounded him, listening intently as a fast-speaking auctioneer sold dozens of items. Full story

Economy

Venezuela seeks to annul pharmaceutical patents for antibiotic produced by Bayer HealthCare

Venezuela's trade minister says the government plans to annul the pharmaceutical patents for an antibiotic produced by Bayer HealthCare. Full story

Entertainment

Pedro Almodovar discusses his childhood, his influences and what he won't put on film

Sex. Drugs. Prostitution. Pedophilia. Rape. Pedro Almodovar has been able to translate some of the most delicate subjects to the big screen with grace and humor. Full story