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Obama in Russia cuts global warming nuke treaty

By: Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist
July 7, 2009

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.

President Barack Obama returns from Russia this week with a verbal commitment in hand from President Dmitry Medvedev to slash stockpiles of nuclear weapons as a preemptive strike against one of the top five potential causes of man-made global warming -- unrestrained atomic fission.

"Our conflicting notions of national security made previous nuclear arms reductions difficult," said Mr. Obama, standing next to his Russian counterpart at a news conference, "but our shared concern over the threat of global warming has brought us together this week. Dmitry and I both realize that the greatest threat posed by nuclear weapons is that they heat the atmosphere to roughly 300,000 degrees Celsius and therefore could cause measurable climate change."

The U.S.-Russia deal includes a cap-and-trade system that allows nations with large volumes of nuclear weapons to purchase radiation-emission credits from nations which have no nuclear arsenals. The plan won't reduce the overall potential temperature of the atmosphere, however, it will provide an income stream to boost the prosperity of pre-nuclear nations and drain the resources of nuclear superpowers forcing them to consider alternative sources of national defense.

Experts say nuclear detonation has a global warming impact potential that rivals carbon dioxide, second-hand cigarette smoke, lawn mower exhaust and even livestock emissions in its ability to heat the atmosphere, thereby threatening wildlife habitat.

President Obama said the new round of negotiations would "lead to a world of clean air and clean energy where the only people who have nuclear weapons are those who have no respect for the rule of law."

Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the family-friendly news satire site, and anchor of ScrappleFace Network News, seen on YouTube.

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Reader Comments

All comments on this page are subject to our Terms of Use and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Examiner or its staff. Comment box is limited to 250 words.

boberin

Jul 7, 2009

As always you have made an excellent point Mr. Ott. But I don't want to make this all about me...(inside joke, apologies)

Tom

Jul 7, 2009

Which experts say nuclear detonation would have a gullible warming impact? Because some other experts, very numerous experts, for many many years now, have been saying something that sounds like pretty much the exact opposite to me: "nuclear winter". Do you really think they called it nuclear WINTER because of how much it would warm things up?? And second-hand smoke is now a leading cause of gullible warming?? Second-hand cigarette smoke??

boberin

Jul 7, 2009

Tom, it's the cigar smoke, Cuban cigars are the worst offenders...that's why they were banned for so long

olainfree

Jul 7, 2009

Excellent tongue in cheek, Scott. Then again, Russia can meet its obligations to deplete its stockpile by selling some of its arsenal to client states. What a win-win for the Bear!

Jake

Jul 7, 2009

Scott, while certainly proliferation of nuclear arms poses a significant threat to global warming, let's not forget that if we fail to use those weapons, populations will continue to increase causing an increased demand for livestock and dairy products worldwide. The increase in cow flatulation could in a very short period exceed the damage done with nuclear stockpiles. The law of unintended consequences strikes again.

Major Domo

Jul 7, 2009

Great satire like this needs a grain of truth. The scary thing about this one is that it could very well reflect the thinking of the Obummer administration, and liberals at large, including some here.

Rob

Jul 7, 2009

Everyone is quickly learning that global warming is just a way to increase taxes so now they’re going to extremes to push it through before its too late…pathetic. Everyone must also know that both Gore and Obama both own interests in carbon trading companies which will make massive profits eventually right?! By the way today I just watched a very informative and very well made video giving people the crashcourse on this topic, I think its little things like these that can greatly wake up the ordinary person from their slumber…enjoy! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_heRPK9TU4

Vidkun Quisling

Jul 7, 2009

We look forward to a world where nuclear explosions are safe, legal and rare.

Jesse Raphial

Jul 8, 2009

As long as they continue to produce such fine vodkas, being bombed won't feel so bad...

Petegoud

Jul 10, 2009

Well, this makes about as much sense as everthing else going on today. Instead of entirely getting rid of the worlds nuclear arms, why don't we just size them down, and install them as power units in Smart Cars? We could call the new vehicles "Smart Cars with an attitude"

Petegoud

Jul 10, 2009

fredlox

Jul 22, 2009

This Treaty is unconstitutional!!!!

From Article II, Section 2 Clause 2: "He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur;"

What should happen with a president who violated his Oath of Office and the US Constitution...

Destiny

Aug 31, 2009

Obama is an idiot.

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Obama in Russia cuts global warming nuke treaty

By: Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist
July 7, 2009