S.J. Masty
Time Machine: Thanksgiving weekend in economic Valhalla
By: S. J. Masty
-
November 25, 2008
Thanksgiving Friday, 2108 Will America survive economic meltdown? To find out, we traveled 100 years into the future to Auburn, Alabama, home of The Ludwig von Mises Institute and the national shrine.
Lew Rockwell founded the institute 126 years ago, in 1982. Brought back to life by cloning, he pointed at Friedrich von Hayek struggling to light the barbeque. The Nobel laureate looked surprisingly spry at 209, but that's science for you.
A portly and jovial "Noo Yawker," Murray Rothbard (1926-1995) tossed cold beers to me and Eugene "Call me Gene" von Bohm-Bawerk (1851-1914). What looked like a faculty picnic was Economic Valhalla. Cloned, alive and teaching in the future are all the greats from the Austrian School of Economics. It champions small government and sound money, and by 2108 has been the world's sole, economic orthodoxy for 50 years
"Whatever you do," cautioned Rockwell, "save room for Carl Menger's (1840-1921) macaroni salad, and 'Bill' Ropke's (1899-1966) sweet potato and marshmallow casserole."
"It must look dire for you people back in 2008," Ludwig von Mises (1881-1973) explained, "but the Great Meltdown, as we now call it, permitted today's freedom and prosperity. Isn't that right, Fred?"
"Mmmph!" replied Frederick Bastiat (1801-1850) over a mouthful of pretzels. "Governments are small and money is sound, so most nations are now thrifty, economically productive and wealthy. It never would have happened without stupid Washington turning the 2008 market crash into a 35-year global depression."
"Who were those numbskulls again?" asked Hans Sennholz (1922-2007). "The dumb-headed white guy and the wrong-headed black guy?"
"Bush and Obama," said Rockwell. "They thought government could cure a depression by massive spending."
"They squandered $25 billion before the whole charade collapsed. Then came private sector contraction, evaporating credit, plummeting tax revenue, no possibility for funding the bloated welfare state, and no more American imperialism, invasion and occupation. Big, bullying, manipulative and costly government ran out of fuel and stopped. And guess what? People were happier, more free and productive without it."
Arriving late, W.H. "Bill" Hutt (1899-1988) asked "How much do I owe for the beer fund?"
"About five Walbucks, three Toyotayen or half of one of those new Brazilian plastic doubloon-thingies backed by gold. Amazoners," Rothbard replied.
In 2032, government-issued money was replaced by Hayek's idea of competing private currencies. "It ended financial manipulation and crooked tricks by which government spent money it did not have," Rockwell explained. "That ended credit bubbles and economic meltdowns. Now, if one private sector currency is manipulated, people use another. That was impossible when governments monopolized money production and conspired to cheat."
Professor von Mises asked, "Say, has our guest been to the shrine?" Jean-Baptiste Say (1767-1832) said no, adding, "Expect a million people on Thanksgiving weekend."
"The Shrine to the Victims of American Socialism is very moving," von Mises insisted."America had a national socialist state since the 1930s, but only as it collapsed did it turn against its own people. In 2010 it started civilian conscription, a Hitler Youth Movement without Hitler. The enormous state security apparatus turned viciously against law-abiding citizens. Children were turned against parents by the state. Low-level bureaucrats were empowered to punish without trial, often brutally."
"Government nationalized most jobs, so political correctness determined one's employability. Many died of hunger or in prisons," added Fritz Machlup (1902-1983). "Today, millions visit their shrine every year, based here in Auburn because of these far-sighted economists who warned us, back when government would not listen."
"My wife Margit (1890-1993) makes pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving," said Professor von Mises. "Try some, but save a piece for Ron Paul."
S. J. Masty is a communications advisor based in London. The Time Machine reports each Wednesday.
Lew Rockwell founded the institute 126 years ago, in 1982. Brought back to life by cloning, he pointed at Friedrich von Hayek struggling to light the barbeque. The Nobel laureate looked surprisingly spry at 209, but that's science for you.
A portly and jovial "Noo Yawker," Murray Rothbard (1926-1995) tossed cold beers to me and Eugene "Call me Gene" von Bohm-Bawerk (1851-1914). What looked like a faculty picnic was Economic Valhalla. Cloned, alive and teaching in the future are all the greats from the Austrian School of Economics. It champions small government and sound money, and by 2108 has been the world's sole, economic orthodoxy for 50 years
"Whatever you do," cautioned Rockwell, "save room for Carl Menger's (1840-1921) macaroni salad, and 'Bill' Ropke's (1899-1966) sweet potato and marshmallow casserole."
"It must look dire for you people back in 2008," Ludwig von Mises (1881-1973) explained, "but the Great Meltdown, as we now call it, permitted today's freedom and prosperity. Isn't that right, Fred?"
"Mmmph!" replied Frederick Bastiat (1801-1850) over a mouthful of pretzels. "Governments are small and money is sound, so most nations are now thrifty, economically productive and wealthy. It never would have happened without stupid Washington turning the 2008 market crash into a 35-year global depression."
"Who were those numbskulls again?" asked Hans Sennholz (1922-2007). "The dumb-headed white guy and the wrong-headed black guy?"
"Bush and Obama," said Rockwell. "They thought government could cure a depression by massive spending."
"They squandered $25 billion before the whole charade collapsed. Then came private sector contraction, evaporating credit, plummeting tax revenue, no possibility for funding the bloated welfare state, and no more American imperialism, invasion and occupation. Big, bullying, manipulative and costly government ran out of fuel and stopped. And guess what? People were happier, more free and productive without it."
Arriving late, W.H. "Bill" Hutt (1899-1988) asked "How much do I owe for the beer fund?"
"About five Walbucks, three Toyotayen or half of one of those new Brazilian plastic doubloon-thingies backed by gold. Amazoners," Rothbard replied.
In 2032, government-issued money was replaced by Hayek's idea of competing private currencies. "It ended financial manipulation and crooked tricks by which government spent money it did not have," Rockwell explained. "That ended credit bubbles and economic meltdowns. Now, if one private sector currency is manipulated, people use another. That was impossible when governments monopolized money production and conspired to cheat."
Professor von Mises asked, "Say, has our guest been to the shrine?" Jean-Baptiste Say (1767-1832) said no, adding, "Expect a million people on Thanksgiving weekend."
"The Shrine to the Victims of American Socialism is very moving," von Mises insisted."America had a national socialist state since the 1930s, but only as it collapsed did it turn against its own people. In 2010 it started civilian conscription, a Hitler Youth Movement without Hitler. The enormous state security apparatus turned viciously against law-abiding citizens. Children were turned against parents by the state. Low-level bureaucrats were empowered to punish without trial, often brutally."
"Government nationalized most jobs, so political correctness determined one's employability. Many died of hunger or in prisons," added Fritz Machlup (1902-1983). "Today, millions visit their shrine every year, based here in Auburn because of these far-sighted economists who warned us, back when government would not listen."
"My wife Margit (1890-1993) makes pumpkin pie every Thanksgiving," said Professor von Mises. "Try some, but save a piece for Ron Paul."
S. J. Masty is a communications advisor based in London. The Time Machine reports each Wednesday.
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