Scott Ott

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Examiner Scrappleface: Steele says GOP re-branding won't involve hot iron

By: Scott Ott
Examiner Columnist
May 1, 2009

News Fairly Unbalanced. We Report. You Decipher.

In an effort to calm the fears of moderates who feel their party has been taken over by dogmatic conservatives, Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele today said the recently-announced re-branding of the party  "will not involve hot iron."
 
"These days branding is more of a marketing term," said Steele. "It's about persuading the public that we Republicans really believe in limited government, lower taxes, individual liberty and personal responsibility, regardless of our actual behavior in office."
 
The party chairman explained that the RNC has to "deal with the practical realities of politics, not some ideologically-pure Utopia."
 
"In the real world," said Steele, "It's much more practical to hire consultants to craft new talking points, logos, slogans and advertising than it is to try to get a bunch of rogue Republican incumbents to actually stand together for our values, and walk the talk."
 
However, many moderate Republicans argue that the best way to win elections is to convince Democrats that "we're not so different from you," according to one unnamed New England senator.
 
"We need to emulate the success of store-brand products," the anonymous senator said. "They're cheaper versions of the nationally-known brand-name products, often made in the same factory. My own record shows that you can win as a Republican in a blue state if you can get people to overlook the Republican label and to realize that the content of the package is the same stuff they're used to."
 
Meanwhile, Chairman Steele said the RNC would hire more consultants "to re-brand the re-branding process with a less frightening term."
 
"Perhaps it's an unfortunate choice of words," he said, "since so many of our party leaders still have the old cattle-branding image seared in their minds from childhood."
 
Washington Examiner columnist Scott Ott is editor-in-chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world's leading family-friendly news satire source.



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Reader Comments

All comments on this page are subject to our Terms of Use and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Examiner or its staff. Comment box is limited to 250 words.

38special

May 1, 2009

movin', movin', movin'... let's keep those dogies movin'. tho their disapprovin' rawhid!!!

 

Jesse Raphial

May 1, 2009

Oh boy, rebranding, does that mean we get a new animal and logo with new colors for out shirts. Maybe a pig could be the new mascot...Beings red and blue are taken, how about pink, same color as the pig..

 

Jesse Raphial

May 1, 2009

Oh boy, rebranding, does that mean we get a new animal and logo with new colors for out shirts. Maybe a pig could be the new mascot...Beings red and blue are taken, how about pink, same color as the pig..

 

Chuck Curtis

May 1, 2009

Can't use the pig, Jesse. It's being used as the icon for a disease. There would be a conflict, because both have about the same popularity.

 

Barbwire

May 1, 2009

See, RINOS are so stupid they think they look like Elephants ,whereas in truth , they look much more like the South end of Donkeys going North.Elephants do not take kindly to branding,nor to changing brands. They are what they are and that's all that they are,and that's good enough for me. Could I have another cup of tea?oh ,we're out? I know where there is some more.

 

Barbwire

May 1, 2009

See, RINOS are so stupid they think they look like Elephants ,whereas in truth , they look much more like the South end of Donkeys going North.Elephants do not take kindly to branding,nor to changing brands. They are what they are and that's all that they are,and that's good enough for me. Could I have another cup of tea?oh ,we're out? I know where there is some more.

 

urnumbersix

May 2, 2009

WOW! Just Wow. Michael Steele thinks his fellow Republicans are so ignorant that he has to explain to them that "re-branding" is a marketing term? Is this guy Dem plant? Is he for real?

 

RIP GOP

May 2, 2009

Has the GOP figured out that Steele is really working for the Dems yet?

 

weatherwax

May 3, 2009

The sad thing is, it's almost impossible to tell if this is real or satire.

 

conservative

May 3, 2009

This is why I quit giving money to the Rep. party. They waant to be democrat lite.Most people live their lives as conservatives. It works everytime it's tried. Wash. d.c. is out of touch with America. Consultants are ignorant.

 

conservative

May 3, 2009

This is why I quit giving money to the Rep. party. They waant to be democrat lite.Most people live their lives as conservatives. It works everytime it's tried. Wash. d.c. is out of touch with America. Consultants are ignorant.

 

conservative

May 3, 2009

This is why I quit giving money to the Rep. party. They waant to be democrat lite.Most people live their lives as conservatives. It works everytime it's tried. Wash. d.c. is out of touch with America. Consultants are ignorant.

 

No longer in DENIAL republican...

May 4, 2009

I've been a life long republican; however, I've found that Obama is morally and politically superior than any of the last 43 Presidents. Bush lied and continued to many of our sons die in a war for oil.

 

No longer in DENIAL republican...

May 4, 2009

I've been a life long republican; however, I've found that Obama is morally and politically superior than any of the last 43 Presidents. Bush lied and continued to many of our sons die in a war for oil.

 

HopeGrenade

May 4, 2009

"Since so many of our party...have the old cattle-branding image seared in their minds from childhood." Wait. Did Steele just call Republicans a bunch of hicks?

 


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