That's what I hear, again and again, when I ask people why they watch "Jersey Shore."
I nod blankly and change the subject.
Am I missing the essential train-wreckiness that has made "Jersey Shore" such an audience-pleasing, buzz-generating hit? Or is my immunity to its charms explained simply by the fact that if I wanted to watch a train wreck, I'd choose a swifter railroad?
|» When: 10 p.m. Thursday|
|» Channel: MTV|
|» Info: mtv.com|
But this will all be moot soon. After three years and six seasons of boozy, rowdy wrecktitude, "Jersey Shore" concludes its MTV run Thursday at 10 p.m.
Can it really be just three years since Snooki and memes like "smoosh" and "G.T.L." drilled their way into our consciousness? Since a group of millenial party animals challenged Speaker of the House John Boehner as the nation's reigning orange public figure?
Did Barbara Walters really include the "Jersey Shore" gang among her "10 Most Fascinating People" list in 2010?
These, and so many other questions, will be deferred for anyone who might be mulling them, after Thursday.
For the moment, it suffices to just marvel at this phenomenon, which convened these housemates -- four brawny dudes, four bosomy gals -- at the Jersey Shore (and elsewhere as the series wore on), then, with cameras rolling, turned them loose to be themselves and get their dumb on.
There's been plenty of G.T.L. (gym, tanning, laundry) during the show's run. Plus drinking and messing around, of course, and random stabs at verbal self-expression. (Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino: "I got the shirt, but I ain't wearing the shirt when I go out. This is the shirt before the shirt.")
I can guess why anthropologically inclined viewers might have taken to "Jersey Shore." Here is an opportunity to study a primitive life form as it feeds, mates and struggles to communicate.
Viewers must have found something infectious about the hiccupy shooting style, and the background music that telegraphs (if by "telegraph" you mean "whacked in the head by a two-by-four") the tone of each scene -- comic, emotional, outrageous, dramatic -- so viewers never have to give the show more than a fraction of their attention.
The Season Two premiere of "Snooki & JWoww" (starring "Jersey Shore" alumnae Nicole Elizabeth "Snooki" Polizzi and Jenni "JWoww" Farley) is just around the corner.