Have you ever unearthed an old love note or a romantic poem from your special someone in second grade that just made you swoon? Or what about those lyrics you penned when you were 16 that perfectly reflect the woes of teenage life? These artifacts are little gems that need to be shared, and Mortified has given you the perfect platform to share them at its Doomed Valentine's Show (2009 Eighth St. NW). Hailed as a "cultural phenomenon" by Newsweek, Mortified is a comic excavation that gives everyday people the chance to reveal their most embarrassing childhood artifacts in front of a live audience -- all in the name of personal redemption and a few good laughs.

Tickets are $12 in advance and $15 at the door. Purchase yours soon at mortified-dc.eventbrite.com. Doors open at 7 p.m.

Ever since October, iconic basement bar-turned-dancehall Gate 54 at Cafe Saint-Ex has been cooking up old-school soul food in a series called "Pass the Peas" on the second Wednesday of every month. Unfortunately, this is the last night for you to enjoy homestyle dishes such as cast-iron cornbread, shrimp and grits and country fried steak while getting your groove on to some of the city's top rhythm 'n blues DJs. So if you haven't been to one yet, here is your last chance!

Come to Saint-Ex's Gate 54 (1847 14th St. NW) beginning at 6 p.m. for its last party, where "greasy soul food meets even greasier records." The District's premier all-vinyl DJ Soul Call Paul will be dishing out R&B and primal funk.

Go to saint-ex.com for more information.

Pardon our cheesiness, but veteran producer and DJ Dave Aude has his Ph.D. in turning music into "dope on wax" -- their words, not our words. The Grammy-nominated producer has worked with the best of the best, including musical stars Rihanna, Britney Spears, Beyonce, Coldplay, Madonna, Lady Gaga and even U2. He got his start at Los Angeles Recording Workshop as an instructor and later began making house music at Truth, an L.A.-based dance club. Together with the club's owner, Steve Levy, they founded Moonshine Music and have been remixing hit after hit ever since.

Lucky for us, he'll be at Capitale (1301 K St. NW) with the District's own DJ Neekola. Dance the night away for only $10. Get your ticket at dcrevel.eventbrite.com.