Strained definition

Motor vehicle workers in New Jersey called police on a man who insisted on wearing a spaghetti strainer on his head for his driver's license photo, according to

Aaron Williams, 25, explained that the strainer was a religious head covering and that he had a right to wear it in his driver's license photo.

Williams said he is a Pastafarianist, or a member of the Church of the Flying Spaghettic Monster, a movement opposing to the teaching of creationism in schools.

Police told Williams he would have to apply to the state to wear his religious head covering in his license photo. He agreed and took his photo without the strainer.

Get me a rewrite!

Police in Pennsylvania say a student's report of a gunshot being fired was instead the sound of a newspaper hitting the sidewalk.

Gettysburg police say a Gettysburg College student had reported that someone in a white sedan fired a shot. The college alerted students and employees through text messages, voicemails and emails.

Police determined the sound came from a newspaper delivery driver throwing a paper from her vehicle.

Just gross

A man was arrested after he broke into a Louisville, Ky., fire station and masturbated on rescue gear.

Firefighters were awakened to loud banging.

"Initially, I thought it was the dumpster man coming to empty the dumpster, and then I quickly realized it's not that night that he runs," firefighter Michael Davenport told WHAS-TV.

Firefighters found Nicholas Gonzales, 27, in a storage room amidst a pile of firefighter gear. He appeared drunk.

"He never even acknowledged I was there," said Davenport. "He continued his lewd act, and that's when I grabbed him by his shirt and drug him out."

Gonzales has since been charged with burglary, public intoxication and criminal mischief.