The Daily Mail's message to Michelle Obama: Dude, you're getting Adele.
The White House may have ended tours for Americans, but they're rolling out the red carpet for the "Rolling in the Deep" singer, the British newspaper reports. The Mail says the 24-year-old will perform at Michelle's 50th birthday party at the White House on Jan. 17 of next year.
Adele will be joining Beyonce, who performed at the Super Bowl halftime show as part of her preparation for celebrating halftime in Michelle's life.
"America's first lady will be holding a huge celebrity-packed party for her birthday at the White House next year and, as she adores Adele and Beyonce, she has asked them both to sing," a source tells the Mail. "Adele has graciously accepted and waived her usual fee for the high-profile private performance. She will sing a selection of her most-loved hits for the first lady and her friends."
The White House bash will be the second event within a year attended by Adele and Michelle -- sort of. The British songstress took the stage at the Academy Awards to sing "Skyfall," the James Bond theme that went on to win Best Original Song, and shortly afterward, Michelle was beamed in via satellite to present Best Picture to Ben Affleck's "Argo."
Kris' aunt: Marriage was a 'sham'
You have to hand it to Kris Humphries and his relatives: They're so set on bashing Kim Kardashian that they're willing to admit Kris is one dumb, gullible guy.
Kris' aunt Dedria says the 28-year-old basketball whiz, and total simpleton, was "duped" into marrying the reality show star in a ploy to boost ratings for "Keeping Up With the Kardashians."
The Brooklyn Nets player is hell-bent on resolving their 72-day marriage by annulment -- rather than the simple divorce Kim wants -- because an annulment could free Kris from a confidentiality agreement that keeps him from telling the truth about the reality show.
As Aunt Dedria tells the British newspaper the Sun, "An annulment says it wasn't valid in the first place. She should admit that it was a sham at the very least."
Uncle Mike insists Kris' crusade isn't about the money. "I can just see him wanting a pound of flesh back," he tells the Sun. "I believe he wants payback."
Mike calls Kim's mom, Kris Jenner, the "mastermind" of the scheme, and says his newphew "wants to thump that mum." Do Americans who talk to British newspapers turn British?
Holly: Rainbows of a feather ...
Whoops, Holly Madison must have heard us making "taste the rainbow" jokes.
The former "Girl Next Door," 33, is taking to her blog to slam the "smug haters" making fun of her newborn daughter's name, Rainbow Aurora.
To those who say it's fitting that a former Playboy model would give her daughter a stripper name, Holly says the inspiration was much less scandalous. Believe it or not, the name isn't a tribute to Ronnie James Dio, but an old schoolmate.
"She was a perfectly normal, well-adjusted, sporty girl, by the way, so I'm not worried about my daughter being 'traumatized' by having an unusual name," writes Holly, who welcomed Rainbow with boyfriend Pasquale Rotella on Tuesday.
Never mind about the smirkers of the world, Holly writes. "I spent most of my life being a people-pleaser who worried about what other people thought ... and I don't want that for her."
"I'm not afraid of any person in this world but my mother. I'm terrified of her!"
- Rihanna, to Elle UK. The Barbadian beauty says her mom chewed her out after racy pictures of her hit the Web. "She went crazy on me," RiRi continued. "I felt like I got my ass whipped in front of my class at school! She humbled the f--k out of me."
Sarah Jessica Parker dissed the "Sex and the City" prequel "The Carrie Diaries," calling it "odd."
Jennifer Love Hewitt joked to USA Today that she may get her ... upper body ... insured for $5 million.
Legal docs show Martha Stewart has banned Oprah Winfrey from doing biz with Martha's new retail home, JCPenney.
Sorry, Steve Carell tells E!, but "Anchorman" superfan Meryl Streep will not be in the sequel.
An online petition is asking the government for a national holiday to honor Macho Man Randy Savage.
Happy birthday for March 11:
Actress Thora Birch is 31.
Singer LeToya Luckett of Destiny's Child is 32.
Actor David Anders is 32.
Singers Benji and Joel Madden of Good Charlotte are 34.
Actor Johnny Knoxville is 42.
Keyboardist Rami Jaffee of the Wallflowers is 44.
Actor Terrence Howard is 44.
Singer Pete Droge is 44.
Singer Lisa Loeb is 45.
Actor Wallace Langham is 48.
Actress Alex Kingston is 50.
Actor Jeffrey Nordling ("24") is 51.
Singer Cheryl Lynn is 56.
Singer Nina Hagen is 58.
Country singer Jimmy Fortune of the Statler Brothers is 58.
Actress Susan Richardson ("Eight Is Enough") is 61.
Singer Bobby McFerrin is 63.
Singer-keyboardist Mark Stein of Vanilla Fudge is 66.
Accordionist Flaco Jimenez of the Texas Tornadoes is 74.