Charlie Sheen is giving a 9-year-old a taste of her own medicine -- by acting like a 9-year-old.

Last year, Charlie and ex-wife Denise Richards pulled their 9-year-old daughter, Sam, out of Viewpoint School in Calabasas, Calif., because another 9-year-old, named Victoria, teased her about everything from her looks to her dad getting fired from "Two and a Half Men," sources tell TMZ.

The "Anger Management" star has been able to suppress his anger about the incident all these months -- until now. We don't know what set him off, but Charlie took to Twitter on Thursday, writing, "If you have a rotten egg, a roll of toilet paper or some dog s--t, I urge you to deliver it with 'extreme prejudice' to the campus run by trolls and charlatans. Make me proud."

He continued: "And if you're feeling the 'show and tell' of it all, smear the s--t to spell one name on the front door: VICTORIA."

Really? Dissing a little girl? Lindsay Lohan's rejection of the 47-year-old's offer to become her mentor is looking better and better.

Back in black

The stars ... they're just like us!

Nicki Minaj missed the first part of "American Idol" on Wednesday because she was stuck in traffic. Or so she claims.

"Idol" started with host Ryan Seacrest in Nicki's chair on the judges panel, and then 20 minutes into the show, the rapper showed up wearing black sunglasses and a black hoodie. Nicki gave no reason for why she was late, prompting eye rolls from fellow judge Mariah Carey.

An explanation -- sort of, came shortly after midnight -- when Nikki tweeted, "F--k u Malibu!!!!!!!!!!!! *moves to Beverly Hills*"

Well now we know how she'll open her next concert in Malibu.

Quick Takes

Julianne Hough left $100,000 worth of jewelry from boyfriend Ryan Seacrest in her car -- and returned to find it stolen, TMZ reports.

A First World problem meets a Third World problem: Natalie Gulbis has withdrawn from the LPGA Founders Cup after contracting malaria.

Rapper Lil Wayne has been hospitalized after suffering multiple seizures during the filming of a music video, sources tell TMZ.

WNBA star Chamique Holdsclaw has pleaded not guilty to a string of charges after allegedly firing a gun inside her ex-girlfriend's car.

Miley Cyrus is "clinging to hope" of reconciliation with Liam Hemsworth, a source tells People. "Miley hasn't canceled the wedding."

Say What?

"To those comparing me to Lindsay Lohan look at her 2012 tax statements ;)"
- Justin Bieber, on Instagram. He quickly deleted the reference to LiLo but not this boast: "I'm 19 and it must be scary to some people to think that this is just the beginning [for me]. I know my talent level."

Happy birthday for March 15:

Actor Kellan Lutz is 28.
Rapper Young Buck is 32.

DJ Joseph Hahn of Linkin Park is 36.

Musician of the Black Eyed Peas is 38.

Actress Eva Longoria is 38.

Bassist Mark Hoppus of Plus-44 and Blink 182 is 41.

Singer Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray is 45.

Singer Rockwell is 49.

Singer Bret Michaels is 50.

Model Fabio is 52.

Actress Park Overall ("Empty Nest") is 56.

Singer Dee Snider of Twisted Sister is 58.

Rock guitarist Ry Cooder is 66.

Guitarist Howard Scott of War is 67.

Singer-keyboardist Sly Stone of Sly and the Family Stone is 70.

Singer Mike Love of the Beach Boys is 72.

Bassist Phil Lesh of the Grateful Dead is 73.

Actor Judd Hirsch is 78.

Elvis Presley drummer DJ Fontana is 82.