Thanksgiving is a day to meditate on the things for which you are grateful.
It is also a day for catching up with family.
It is not, however, a good day for political arguments. It is not a good day to berate your aunt/uncle over their supposedly backward worldviews. It is certainly not a day for subjecting your family to weird strategies devised by someone writing on Planned Parenthood's Tumblr.
People want to hear about how things are in your life.
How is your life insurance? How is your trade union? How's Aunty Mabel?
They don’t want to hear about why you think they are bad or immoral voters. They likely also don’t want to spend their day listening to you recite some agitprop provided to you by the nation’s largest provider of abortions.
So, for the sake of your family, and for your own well-being, do not listen to Planned Parenthood and don’t devise creepy strategies for dealing with “difficult people” at your Thanksgiving table.
“Your dinner companions may say hurtful, offensive things about race, gender identity, sexual harassment and assault, birth control coverage, abortion, or any number of topics — which can feel stressful, isolating, or enraging,” the group said this week on Tumblr.
To “deal with” this, the post continued, try applying “self care,” meaning do what makes you “feel safe, whether that means not going home at all, going home with a friend or partner by your side, or only visiting for dinner.”
The post also suggests that you “build allyship,” which is just another way of suggesting you triangulate family members against one another so as to punish “problematic behavior.”
Cripes, is this a dinner or a tribunal?
“It’s totally OK to tell someone that their language or behavior is hurtful and unacceptable to you,” the post reads.
“Tell them about the impact it has on you and why, and what the consequences of their actions are to the larger community. Tell them you expect better, and what the consequences are if they don’t change (like cutting off contact with them or leaving). And you’re allowed to end the conversation, leave the room, and set whatever boundaries you need to feel safe,” it added.
This is almost as bad as the time the Planned Parenthood Minnesota, North Dakota, South Dakota Action fund tweeted a guide last year titled, “How to Talk to Your Family About Planned Parenthood.”
No one wants to hear that.
If you’re the type of person who seeks out these “how to talk to family” articles, or if you’re the person writing them, I have some bad news for you: You are definitely the person everyone else is dreading at Thanksgiving.