Former Rep. Todd Akin - of "legitimate rape" infamy - went on Fox News Monday night and defended his comments from two years ago.

Because it wasn’t enough that he said what he said, he also couldn’t just go away and be forgotten.

So now, four months before the 2014 midterm elections, when the GOP has a fighting chance of taking back the Senate, Akin resurfaces to remind everyone to make sure every Republican in every race gets asked about rape in the hopes they will say something equally outrageous.

Akin bashed former President Bill Clinton for being a hero of the Left despite his history with women.

“What's worse: Saying a few words or actually having a long history of abusive behavior toward women?” Akin asked Fox host Megyn Kelly. “I think the Democrat Party is the one that's cheering the ‘war on women.'”

For good measure, Akin attacked Hillary Clinton's defense of an accused rapist (in her role as his attorney) and the tapes of her laughing about it later.

Kelly asked Akin straight out if he still believes his 2012 comments that "it was very rare to become pregnant from rape … if it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try and shut the whole thing down."

Akin stumbled.

“Well, look, here is the point: The ‘legitimate rape’ comment was an abbreviation,” Akin said. “It is the idea of a legitimate claim of rape.”

Oh, that clears it up. This guy should run for office again (please, no).

Kelly pressed further, asking if Akin still believed that a woman’s body could “shut down” a pregnancy resulting from a “legitimate rape.”

Akin again stumbled.

“It was simply – and this is the word I should have added – and again, poor choice of words; the word I should have added, is quite simply, um, that stress plays some part in fertility,” Akin said.

With a smile on his face that was not at all necessary, Akin continued:

“Perhaps you know some people – they wanted to have a child and couldn’t seem to do it, so they adopt somebody …”

Yes, he said “adopt somebody.”

Kelly interjected, pointing out that while stress reduction can decrease infertility – that is not the same as saying stress could cause a miscarriage.

“No, I was just simply saying statistically – and you know, I’m not setting myself up as a medical doctor or anything, it’s just something that had been a long – and there are a whole series of studies you can, you know, look at the different articles on stress and its effect on fertility,” Akin responded.

Again, Kelly tried to say that nothing ties stress to miscarriages after rape.

“And I’m not fighting that point. Okay,” Akin said.

Then why write a book to try and explain his comments?

Because Akin believes that his comments were taken “to an absurd level” and he wanted to set the record straight, or something.

“Nothing I said meant to diminish women,” Akin said, that odd smile back on his face. “And nothing meant to, in any way, cheapen or lower the seriousness of the crime of rape.”

Also, Akin “doesn’t believe” he said that a woman who was raped had a way of getting rid of the pregnancy through stress.

Then Akin decided to blame the GOP establishment for part of his failure. Kelly pointed out that Republican leadership disavowed his campaign after the comments, and Akin made it seem like conservatism had more to do with that than his disparaging remarks.

“But yeah the party bosses have got their own agenda, and to some degree they’ve made me the example: ‘Look, a conservative can’t get elected,’ is what they’re saying,” Akin said.

Right, because conservatives believe ridiculous theories about rape and establishment Republicans do not. Okay.

Akin concluded his interview by complaining about the Republican primary process. Because what the party really needs four months before a pivotal election is advice from the “legitimate rape” guy.