Russian Intelligence May Have Hacked Oscars, Unnamed Sources Say (A Parody)

Published February 27, 2017 6:22pm ET



After the shocking denouement of the Oscars telecast, in which La La Land was incorrectly announced as “Best Picture,” rumors have been swirling in Hollywood that the Academy Awards results may have been hacked by Russian intelligence. The on-camera snafu Sunday night, it is now believed, may have exposed a long-standing manipulation—even falsification—of Oscars results.

According to unnamed sources in the U.S. intelligence community, La La Land may indeed have garnered the most votes for Best Picture, but elements within the FSB (the Russian security agency that succeeded the former KGB) were intent upon sabotaging a feel-good story that celebrates jazz, a music that was used as propaganda against the Soviet Union in the 1950s and ’60s. “The old KGB guys, they hate jazz and the freedom it stands for,” said one American intelligence analyst. “Well, that, and the Russians thought Ryan Gosling’s dancing and singing were an insult.”

Trusted reporting.Unlimited access.

Subscribe for full access to Washington Examiner coverage, expert political analysis, and subscriber-only journalism.

Get Unlimited Access

Already a member? Log in

Cancel anytime.