Yesterday on Dan Patrick’s radio show, actor and wildman Charlie Sheen recounted how he was recently asked to give a pep talk to UCLA’s baseball team, which made it to last year’s World Series, ultimately falling to South Carolina. Among other things, Sheen imparted: “Stay away from the crack, which I think is pretty good advice, unless you can manage it socially, Dan. If you can manage it socially, then go for it. But not a lot of people can, you know.”

“Did you think you could?” asked Patrick. “Yeah, but that kind of blew up in my face—like an exploding crack pipe,” joked the costar of Two and a Half Men (the sitcom is currently on a forced hiatus). As Variety reports (subscription required),