Q: I work at a university and get six weeks of vacation every year. My sister’s job only gives her one week. She’s always saying things like, “All you ever do is go to the beach. Must be nice to have such a cushy job.” My job isn’t cushy; I work long hours in a biology lab. I want to go to New Zealand next summer, but I’m afraid to mention it at all because she gets so jealous. What should I do? Just not tell her? A: I don’t blame your sister for being jealous. If you like to travel, not having a lot of vacation time stinks. But it’s rather childish for her to express that jealousy with snarky comments about your job.

So I don’t think you need to keep quiet about your trip to New Zealand for your sister’s sake. Tell her you’re going, and say something like, “I’ve noticed you making a lot of remarks about how much I travel. What’s up?” Be sympathetic if she complains about how little vacation she gets, but remind her that since you don’t set your employer’s vacation policy, it’s kind of pointless for her to get mad at you about it. But listen to her carefully, because there might be more to it. Maybe you’re working your travels into every conversation you have, and it’s getting tiresome. (Do you frequently say things like, “Oh, you haven’t had (name of food) unless you’ve had it in (place you’ve visited)”? Do you compare your town pool to the infinity pool at your hotel in Bali? Then you might be guilty of this.) Or it might be something else entirely — maybe she feels she gets stuck hosting every family get-together because you’re always out of town. But I think it’s better to have a frank conversation than to ignore her comments and hope things improve on their own.