“It’s like having a colonoscopy, except they use the Hubble telescope on you.”

— Former Democratic Indiana Sen. Evan Bayh, describing the process of being vetted for vice president during President Obama’s 2008 campaign. Bayh told GQ that he paid for several thousands of dollars of tests, at the vetting team’s request, to try to diagnose a stomach ache. “They wanted to make sure I wasn’t dying,” Bayh explained. Turned out he had adult-onset gluten sensitivity. He was not offered a slot on the ticket.