30 minutes, or it’s a beating

A Miami-Dade County prosecutor is in hot water after he allegedly punched a pizza girl who couldn’t get into his gated condominium.

After yelling from his balcony at the girl, who could not speak English, David Ranck rushed downstairs, knocked off the Domino’s visor from her head and punched her in the arm, police said.

Ranck was charged with misdemeanor battery. When police arrived, Ranck was standing outsider her car and the girl was inside “shaking and in tears.”

He never got his pizza.

Senior citizen justice

An Oregon teenager learned the hard way not to tangle with senior citizens. Or bowlers.

After trying to snatch two elderly bowler’s purses, the 16-year-old tried to run away but was blocked by a couple seniors who started screaming. An employee grabbed the teen and then the elderly bowlers dog-piled him until authorities arrived, according to the Oregonian.

Said league member Nathan Krawitz, “Never fool with a bowler.”