When it comes to Memorial Day, there’s one thing Americans can agree on: the commemoration of the day has strayed from its sober roots.

Where did it start? That’s up for debate. The most likely answer is Columbus, Miss., where in 1866 a group of women gathered at the town cemetery. Over 2,000 Confederate soldiers were buried there, along with a few dozen Union dead. The women were moved to express honor to both. But another Columbus — this one in Georgia — claimed to have gotten there first. As did Waterloo, N.Y., which bills itself as “the birthplace of Memorial Day.”