Bad boy-turned-bellyacher Alec Baldwin threw a 5,000-word, seven-page pity party for himself in the entertainment media he says he abhors. Hey, what better way for a Hollywood narcissist to protest the attention-starved shallowness of celebrity life than to wallow in it to the bitter end?

The rage-filled actor’s bloated face is on the cover of New York magazine this week next to the headline “I Give Up.” Inside, his rambling and nutty “as told to” confessional bids adieu to “public life.” Baldwin seethes about, well, everything.