Norquist conquers pop culture with Onion exposé

It was only last month that Grover Norquist began flirting with the Onion. The Americans for Tax Reform head had just accomplished a pop culture feat by getting mentioned on “Saturday Night Live” and told Yeas & Nays then that his next goal was to get named in a headline in the Onion.

On Thursday, Norquist found himself ensnared in a fake scandal compliments of the satirical news site. According to the Onion, the anti-tax crusader has been carrying on various affairs with many kinds of taxes over almost three decades.

Norquist and his staff played ball, taping a video confessional to run alongside the story. “And while I, at first, attempted to deny that I had ever had any romantic dalliances with taxes, I would like the opportunity to say that the photographs are in fact authentic,” Norquist said. “In 2004 I engaged in a week-long drug-fueled orgy with corporate income taxes, a decision I now wholeheartedly regret and in 2010, at the height of my misconduct, while in Paris, I strongly flirted with the European-style value-added tax.”