When Ted Cruz (Senator, R-Texas) wants answers, Ted Cruz gets answers. The Texan asked Thursday who would go first overall in the NFL Draft — a pick that his home-state Houston Texans held entering the night — and he received responses from Twitter analysts that had the heads of talking-heads bobbling and talking well into the 8 o’clock hour.
Some floated the possibility that the top selection would be an entirely unfunny attempt at political humor:
@tedcruz Ben Ghazi!
— Borny (@Sinatra1fan) May 8, 2014
Ben Gazzy. WR. Florida State. RT@tedcruz
— Čhrįš Mïkø (@MikoWitYaMoney) May 8, 2014
— Tea Pat (@TeanPatriot) May 8, 2014
So elusive is this character in the open field that no one can even agree on how to spell his name.
Another user, whose Twitter handle is almost comically vulgar enough to share, said that “Your fat forehead” would go number one. That could’ve been a solid choice from a marketing perspective, as “Your fat forehead” may be the most naturally made Fathead in all of wall-decal manufacturing.
Only one person had it pegged precisely: Jadeveon Clowney of the University of South Carolina, a 6’6″, 266-pound defensive end who could probably win “Game of Thrones,” went to the Texans with the first pick.
Cruz later congratulated Texas A&M standouts Jake Matthews, an offensive lineman, and Mike Evans, a wide receiver, on being drafted back-to-back in the top-10 selections.
Absent was praise for Johnny Manziel, the Texas A&M quarterback who won the Heisman Trophy and was selected late in the first round by the Cleveland Browns. The Browns play their home games in a factory of sadness.
