If the White House ever honored a champion of PR spin, it would award itself a customized “45” jersey. President Trump announced in a written statement late Monday that the Super Bowl-winning Philadelphia Eagles were uninvited from the customary ceremony on the South Lawn, explaining that they were “unable to come … with their full team.” Fans planning to attend “deserve[d] better” than a partial complement of players, Trump reasoned. Judging by the statement’s huffiness, so did he.

“They disagree with their President because he insists that they proudly stand for the National Anthem,” Trump wrote in the Third Person.