In the weeks that have followed since John Fetterman won his election to represent Pennsylvania in the U.S. Senate — despite his demonstrable inability to form or process coherent sentences — his star has continued to rise.
(John, star is spelled S-T-A-R, and they’re the twinkly things in the sky during bedtime.)
Unfortunately, due to the nature of our forcibly merged political and cultural worlds, Fetterman has also now stumbled into pop culture stardom.
HOODIE-LOVING, SHORTS AFICIONADO JOHN FETTERMAN MAKES NEW YORK TIMES MOST STYLISH PEOPLE LIST
Not only does Fetterman have a cameo role in Christian Bale’s The Pale Blue Eye — with the Batman star saying that the senator’s “fantastic” face “fits in the 1830s,” though I’d say Bale is off by a few dozen millennia — he has even been listed among the New York Times’s “93 Most Stylish ‘People’ of 2022.”
Yes, alongside Rihanna, Martha Stewart, Bella Hadid, Mary J. Blige, Heidi Klum, and at least one Kardashian, John Fetterman made the list, with the New York Times celebrating that “the senator-elect from Pennsylvania is going to bring Carhartt to the Capitol.”
To be fair, doing his best to hide his socialist sponger lifestyle by donning the clothes of regular humans is his singular achievement in the world of politics.
Fetterman wasn’t alone in the New York Times’s absurd list, of course. New York City Mayor Eric Adams was lauded for his “swagger” and his “closet full of impeccably tailored suits,” Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson made the list with her “statement necklaces,” Ella Emhoff was celebrated for being Vice President Kamala Harris’s stepdaughter, and “Squad” member Rep. Ayanna Pressley (D-MA) was included because she’s bald.
And how can we forget Lizzo, whose style often resembles the heavy-duty garbage bag aisle from Home Depot?
Now, of course this list is stupid. It’s simply an excuse for the continuation of the self-congratulatory nature of our cultural elites. They are important because they say so, and they must be celebrated because they say so. The definition of style is as meaningless as the liberal ideology they claim to propagate, fueled by a desire to appear brave and controversial while being nothing of the sort.
Our modern life looks more like The Hunger Games with every passing day.
Not only that, John Fetterman is as far from stylish as humanly possible. Trying to present his attire as in any way iconic is simply the latest iteration of a real-life “Emperor’s New Clothes” — with those who hope to be accepted in the mainstream expected to smile and nod and cheer.
These are the same people who declared the undying beauty of Michelle Obama while ignoring Melania Trump. Indeed, these are the same people who can see Hillary Clinton waddle around in her latest mumu and do their best to convince us that she is to be revered. “Hillary Clinton Gives the Cool Grandma Uniform a Print-on-Print Upgrade” from Vogue is one such example.
Because none of this is about style. Instead, it’s about loyalty to an ideology.
If you remain loyal to this ideology, you can be a caveman doppelganger somehow elected to the U.S. Senate, famous for nothing except living off the state while wearing a hoodie, and still be celebrated as stylish.
Ultimately, if you remain loyal to this ideology, you could even turn up naked on the steps of Congress, and the New York Times would applaud you for your style, and probably your bravery. But enough about the Clintons.
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Ian Haworth (@ighaworth) is the host of Off Limits with Ian Haworth.
