The day my husband enlisted in the United States Army was one of the proudest and hardest moments of my life. I knew he would be an excellent soldier, and my ability to support him and our country was a great honor. What I didn’t realize was just how much and how quickly our decision to serve would change my whole world.
Signing on as a military spouse meant our established support systems would be more difficult to leverage as we left our small Michigan town for our first duty station in Fort Campbell, Ky.
Throughout our 10 years serving the nation, I’ve watched my family, my friends, my career, my social circles, and my overall sense of connection to the things I love slip further out of reach.
My story is not unique. Every single day, our nation’s military spouses collectively face the challenge of establishing and maintaining trusted networks and support systems. The military lifestyle presents great challenge, but it also presents an incredible opportunity for spouses to show up for each other and for the American public to step in with support.
I first learned of the power of simple acts at a childcare orientation I attended upon arriving at Fort Campbell. I listened intently to the instructor, at 37 ½ weeks pregnant with my second child, and I panicked when I realized I had no one to watch my older daughter when I went into labor. I slowly raised my hand to ask if they offered emergency after-hours care, and the resounding “no” echoed in my brain until the power of community showed up. A fellow military spouse, who observed my very pregnant state, quickly approached to offer support. In the days leading up to my due date, we would get to know each other, meet up for coffee, let our kids play, and when the time came, she was there when I needed her most. This simple act changed my life and inspired me to encourage other military spouses to capitalize on the community networks and programming available to them.
My current work as senior director of program development for the United Service Organizations allows me to educate the public about the importance of these networks and the impact they have on social lives, professional aspirations, and more. I am fortunate to be able to translate my experience as a military spouse into a passion to serve other military spouses through programs and simple acts of connection that make all the difference.
I understand that encouragement and support by Americans, co-workers, and employers can go a long way in helping spouses navigate the rigors of military life. Anything from a cup of coffee and a conversation with a fellow spouse to a workshop to helping spouses discover their identity and realize their fullest potential provides spouses the opportunity to build the trusted networks and support systems they need.
In fact, a recent study by the USO underscored, among other things, that military spouses often report difficulty establishing and maintaining these networks of support. Through this research, the USO and other organizations will be better able to communicate with, build programs around, and ultimately serve the military spouse community.
You can help too. Never underestimate the power of giving back through volunteering, sharing a message of support to military families, or simply offering a cup of coffee, a smile, or a conversation to a military spouse you meet. A simple act of support provided the friend I needed at the perfect time. Your support may just be the unexpected gift a military spouse needs today.
Kylee Durant is a military spouse and USO senior director for program development.
