His bar fly was down

A man fondling himself while staring at a restaurant bartender was arrested when he returned a couple of days later, reported the Seattle Post-Intelligencer.

The bartender called police after she realized that a man who had been staring at her was also fondling himself. The man fled but left behind a container of Vaseline.

Two days later he returned to the restaurant. Deputies arrested 41-year-old Basim Salim Abdul-Rahim after finding his hands coated with petroleum jelly. He was charged with indecent exposure with sexual motivation.

‘Bumbling idiots,’ indeed

Three men who kidnapped a New Jersey man and drove him 1,200 miles to Missouri had apparently mistaken their captive for another man with the same name.

The victim was approached outside his pet store and the men asked him whether he was Jeff Muller. When he replied “yes,” Muller was shot with a stun gun, bound and stuffed into a car.

The plot unraveled when they had car trouble and a convenience-store clerk spotted Muller trying to escape. When officers arrived, the suspects were trying to restrain a dazed Muller.

A sheriff called the three men “bumbling idiots,” and police said they may have bungled a similar scam in November when they shot a man in the hand before realizing they had the wrong address.

Sometimes you just want to feel pretty

Knoxville police arrested a man they said assaulted an officer and then changed into women’s clothing in an attempt to disguise himself.

The 19-year-old Tennessee man was pulled over for driving a car that had been reported stolen in Chattanooga. He then ran and hid in a nearby apartment. He was arrested about two hours later while walking down the street wearing clothes he found in the apartment: women’s shoes, pants and jacket. He was charged with DUI, assault on an officer, resisting arrest and burglary.

— Compiled by Scott McCabe