Marriage season is in full swing. Early autumn has become the most popular season to marry, as more and more couples choose an October wedding. In fact, October lays claim to three of America’s most popular wedding dates.
Unfortunately, fewer and fewer people are choosing to tie the knot. In 2017, only half of all Americans aged 18 or older were married — down from 72% in 1960.
Divorce, meanwhile, is on the rise among older Americans. While the U.S. divorce rate has long hovered around 50%, the rates of so-called “gray divorce” have more than doubled in recent years. For 55-64 year-olds, the divorce rate climbed from five divorces per 1,000 marriages in 1990 to 15 divorces per 1,000 marriages in 2017.
The institution of marriage is in a state of crisis, and it has left a gaping void in American society. Across the country, loneliness is skyrocketing, and so are suicide rates. Too many Americans lack meaningful relationships—the relationships that Holy Matrimony once enshrined for decades.
With crisis come grave consequences. As marriage declines, churches empty at alarming rates. Today, 40% of millennials report no religious affiliation.
When Americans forgo church attendance, they are more likely to lose sight of the traditional values that only religious institutions can bring to the forefront of our lives. From discovering spiritual fulfillment to respecting our family members and helping our friends, church attendance reminds us of our God-given responsibilities to ourselves and others.
When those responsibilities fall by the wayside, societal unrest inevitably follows. Research suggests that low marriage rates and weak family structures translate to higher poverty and crime rates, in addition to lower education levels and reduced happiness writ large.
Therein lies the transformational power of marriage. Based on the 2018 Relationships in America survey, millennials from married homes are almost 80% more likely to attend church and apply Christian values to their daily lives than peers from unmarried homes. But many of today’s churches are strikingly ill-equipped to promote marriage to the masses.
According to Communio research, nearly three-quarters of U.S. churches lack a substantive marriage ministry. More than 90% of churches do not offer any ministries for singles, many of whom are seeking guidance when it comes to dating. To make matters worse, churches are not prioritizing this important issue. Most churches report spending none of their ministry dollars on relationship ministries.
Something has to change. The status quo is simply untenable.
That’s why Communio is working with churches to provide much-needed guidance to singles and married couples alike. Only by implementing data-informed, full-circle relationship ministries can we ensure that more Americans choose marriage — and that those marriages remain healthy over time.
In Florida, Communio recently worked with over 50 Jacksonville-area churches, equipping them with the best practices and technical support needed to conduct successful relationship ministries. We used predictive analytics and digital outreach to market such ministries to singles and married couples in need of spiritual guidance.
Together, we made real progress. Since 2015, Jacksonville’s divorce rate has dropped by roughly 30%. It now boasts the lowest divorce rate among Florida’s largest counties.
And the Jacksonville model can be replicated across the country. Traditional grassroots outreach, combined with the 21st century tools at our disposal, has the potential to strengthen our relationships and transform our communities. We can save marriage and its many benefits.
Where there is crisis, there is also opportunity. America is in desperate need of a relationship health movement, and we can launch one, with churches leading the way.
John-Paul DeGance serves as president and CEO of Communio, a faith-based nonprofit organization.
