Robert Francis O’Rourke is a straight, white guy with well-connected parents and a wife whose daddy is a billionaire. He’s also an (almost former) three-term congressman with a DWI and failed music career under his belt. He somehow kindles fantasies in the minds of middle-aged liberals despite having the charisma of an airplane safety video, and the Democratic establishment wants you to believe that he’s the next Barack Obama.

Yes, a privileged white kid named Robert with a forgettable congressional record is supposed to take the place of the two-time Ivy League grad, self-made, first black president — who actually was able to win his Senate race.

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