Nothing truly counts as a moral panic until Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer, D-N.Y., appoints himself the head of it.

Whether it’s laser pointers, powdered caffeine, or fast-food bread, Schumer’s near-instant calls to ban whatever product happens to be catching a bad headline helped birth one of D.C.’s most over-used cliches: “The most dangerous place in Washington is between Chuck Schumer and a TV camera.”