Drawing a crowd at the bar
It’s as if the entire club has one eye on Gilbert Arenas and the Wizards — that’s a party that few want to miss if Flip Saunders gets it rolling the way he has before. Miami’s Dwyane Wade can barely keep a smile on his face since he’s got no new friends while the Atlanta Hawks are enjoying themselves quite nicely.

Tearing up the dance floor, but doing little else
There’s a distinctly Euro feel with the Toronto Raptors. Chris Bosh is the center of attention, but if you don’t like Hedo Turkoglu and Andrea Bargnani it’s kind of awkward. Elton Brand and head coach Eddie Jordan look a bit silly trying to start a circle around the Philadelphia 76ers, but Chicago Bulls second-year point guard Derrick Rose‘s moves are worth the price of admission.

Still working the bouncer
One would think the line would get restless while Charlie Villanueva and Ben Gordon argue over who gets the credit for bringing the Detroit Pistons, but there’s little action behind them. Indiana GM Larry Bird is about to head back to his car, the New York Knicks are in line for the next night, and New Jersey wants to see what the expensive Russian vodka tastes like before going inside.

The Examiner predicts
There’s not enough diesel left for Shaq to power the trophy to LeBron’s table. Paul Pierce and the Celtics want it far too badly. The Wizards will provide the buzz, but a healthy Boston will party their way to the NBA Finals for the second time in three years.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

Behind the velvet rope
Drinks are on the defending NBA-champion Los Angeles Lakers, and head coach Phil Jackson and Kobe Bryant expect to keep the tab open. But while they don’t make nearly the same splash with celebrities and paparazzi, the San Antonio Spurs haven’t rescinded their elite status. A healthy Manu Ginobili and newly added Richard Jefferson make Tim Duncan‘s table the place to be.

Drawing a crowd at the bar
Carmelo Anthony and the Denver Nuggets caught the imagination of the bartender with a compelling conference final series. But he knew they wouldn’t win, and few believe head coach George Karl can keep the Denver stars aligned until closing time. Dallas grabbed some stools in the offseason, adding Shawn Marion and Drew Gooden, but Jason Kidd and Dirk Nowitzki‘s drinks are looking mighty watered-down.

Tearing up the dance floor, but doing little else
With youth, depth and athleticism, the Portland Trail Blazers may be the most exciting team to watch in the NBA. If Greg Oden finds a healthy rhythm, and Andre Miller doesn’t dance by himself, the hippie music will keep the party hopping. Utah point guard Deron Williams always knows the right tracks to play, but the Jazz music usually ends before the groove reaches a crescendo.

Still working the bouncer
Blake Griffin‘s got the cash and the cache to get himself inside — he was the only real story in the NBA draft, and he’s a nearly unanimous pick to claim rookie of the year honors. Plus, a slim and motivated Baron Davis is by his side. Chris Paul (New Orleans), Steve Nash (Phoenix) and Shane Battier (Houston) are regulars but they’re going to have to pay cover.

The Examiner predicts
With Ron Artest and Khloe Kardashian, the party gets too wild for the Lakers. The Spurs return to the NBA Finals after holding off the Jazz, who do everything but win the West for the first time since 1998. San Antonio will open the champagne at the end, too, popping corks after dousing Boston in six.