Local residents were shocked to discover a man had been bitten by a rottweiler while on his morning jog. Bill Hortense, age 27, has jogged two miles every morning since he graduated from the local community college. “Most days the jog is pretty boring, its just me and my Zune, but this day I knew something was going to be different from the moment I woke up,” Hortense claimed. It was as the jogger turned from Ticky street onto the tract housing on Tacky avenue that a large dog later identified as a Rottweiler darted from between two parked Priuses and bit Hortense on the leg. He has been treated for a minor bite and given a rabies shot, but Hortense claims he’ll have to destroy the jogging suit as the leggings were torn and damaged beyond repair. Hortense blamed Bush for the dog’s attack. “Even two years after Obama’s inaguration, the climate of fear and hate President Bush and the Republicans created has steeped even into the animal kingdom.” The dog was not available for comment, but doubtlessly would have agreed.
