Etan Thomas is recovering from open heart surgery. He knows what a crab must feel like when cracked open. I know — it happened to me in 2004.
The Washington Wizards center underwent a repair of a leak in his aortic valve yesterday, which is a somewhat comparable surgery I endured when needing artery bypass surgery. Basically, they cut your chest in half with an electric saw, fix you up and wire you back together. It’s a rough surgery.
I remember my surgeon walking over afterwards as I layed on the hospital gurney. Maybe it was the anesthesia or the meds, but the conversation was something out of Alice and Wonderland.
I was wondering whether a 16-month ordeal that began as a heart attack at Redskin Park before undergoing three failed heart procedures and finally an artery bypass was finally finished. The doctor wanted to know if I had any questions. Yeah … am I going to live? Stuff like that. The surgeon’s opening remark was a classic.
Surgeon: “OK, no golf for three months.”
Me: “What?”
Surgeon: “No, really, no golf for three months.”
Me: “OK, but …”
Surgeon: “All right — if you really want you can putt in a month or so.”
Me: “What are you — the PGA Tour surgeon?”
I’ve never understood what that was all about except maybe most of his clients play golf. The bottom line of this craziness was in his mind, the surgeon knew I would be fine and was already focused on recovery. I was one of eight heart bypasses he performed that day. Heart surgeries have become that routine. That doesn’t mean recovery is “no big deal” as my doctors often said. It’s painful, exhausting, mind-numbing — and that’s a good day.
So Etan, get well and we’ll see you next season. Any talk of coming back in less than six months is nuts. I might be a middle-aged fat boy and you’re a young professional athlete, but you’ll need a big S on your chest and a cape as a new uniform if playing sooner. I know Ronny Turiaf of the Los Angeles Lakers returned from open heart surgery in 2005 less than six months later, but you can’t bet on Thomas doing the same.
Dr. Anne Safko did a great job taking care of me as did everyone at Inova Fairfax Hospital. I was working three weeks later, but didn’t feel normal for 18 months. Six months is the earliest for most people and a year is quite common. I still take 14 pills daily more than 3 1/2 years later.
It’s not the heart, but the broken breastbone that will be the biggest problem. Nearly 16 months after surgery, a former Redskin player saw me at an event and playfully punched me in the chest. It was all I could do to remain standing. It felt like I was hit with an axe. Now imagine going for a rebound with elbows hitting Thomas in the chest 30 times per game. He’ll need a flack jacket.
Not to sound callous, but the Wiz can endure losing Thomas after producing 6.1 points and 5.8 rebounds last season. Brendan Haywood is the better player if he’s mentally there. The Wizards are all about Agent Zero anyway.
Still, “The Poet” will be missed. Fortunately, he’ll be back.
Rick Snider has covered local sports since 1978. Contact him at [email protected].
