They?ve all lost a spouse, but when the group of young widows and widowers meets each month, that bond is often far from the topic of conversation.
Instead, they share cooking tips, vacation stories, the name of a good accountant or what to do when that thermostat light won?t stop blinking.
“Most of us have been thrown out there with having only one set of directions,” said Mary Catherine Cochran, a member of the Howard County Young Widows and Widowers and director of the Claudia Mayer Cancer Resource Center at Howard County General Hospital.
On the first Wednesday of each month, dozens of people meet at the Coho Grill in Columbia to offer support, conversation and a lot of laughs. The social group targets those in their 20s to 50s, and the average person is in his or her mid-40s, Cochran said.
“We are all on the same journey,” said Cochran, who lost her husband to cancer about five years ago.
Cochran called it a “stealth support group” ? not the typical sit-in-a-circle-and-talk-feelings group.
Losing a husband or wife at a young age presents a unique set of challenges often foreign to those widowed in later life. For example, many have small children.
They are still social, but now find themselves out of place among their couple friends. They didn?t have the chance to live the life they planned with the person they chose.
“Your future is gone,” said Jennifer Parker, of Catonsville, who lost her husband in a car crash in 2001 when she was pregnant with their first child.
Men and women between the ages of 20 and 49 make up less than 7 percent of the widowed population, according to the nonprofit Young Widow-Chapter Two. This can it make it hard to find others whoare living through similar experiences, the group said.
Parker knew she needed help and was referred to the group through a similar support program. For her, the monthly outings provide a safe, social environment.
In fact, Parker met her current husband in the group. He lost his wife to cancer.
The group is not a dating service, Parker said, but it does offer a comfortable connection.
“It?s the kind of support group that people understand where you are and where you have been,” she said.
IF YOU GO
» What: Howard County Young Widows and Widowers meeting
» When: First Wednesdays
» Where: Coho Grill, 11130 Willow Bottom Drive, Columbia
» Contact: 410-740-5858
