Where the child safety harness leads, controversy follows
My mom is our nanny, and one day she showed up with a teddy-bear backpack leash she bought for my son. He was about 18 months old at the time, meaning he was mobile, curious and unpredictable. He still hadn’t grasped the idea that he needed to hold someone’s hand at all times when walking down the busy city streets in our neighborhood, and he was prone to darting about in pursuit of this rock or that dandelion.
I was ambivalent about my mother making this kind of decision for us, knowing just how controversial it would be, but I figured it was harder for her to chase after him because she is approaching 70. Plus, she was terrified that he would get lost in a crowd or run into the street, and the leash gave her peace of mind. Nobody was going to run off with her grandson — not on her watch.
Since then, I’ve heard a lot of opinions on the subject from friends and even strangers stopping us on the street. Most people say, “That’s adorable! Where did you get that?” But blogs are rampant with comments from those who think they’re inhumane and reduce children to the level of dogs.
As much as I try to understand why some people are so averse to them, I just don’t get it. In many ways, I think they are more humane than holding a child’s hand. We’re a lot taller than they are, and kids like to use those hands to discover the world around them whenever possible. Having the leash allows my son the freedom to walk around fairly independently — instead of being trapped in the dreaded stroller — and explore at his own pace, without us tugging at his slippery little hand or nagging him to stay away from the street.
Of course, we still took the time to explain to him why he had to stay away from the street. And now, a year later, we rarely use the leash because he’s generally more reasonable and knows the rules.
But during that crucial year, the need for the leash was driven home time and again. There was the mother on my block who dislocated her shoulder running after her young son as he dashed into the street. Other occasions included traveling in busy airports with our hands full or in crowded, unfamiliar places that were at times overwhelming. These are the situations in which children get snatched. I hate to be the one to point this out, but once that child is gone … well, you parents out there know that most outcomes are unthinkable.
It’s a tough pill to swallow, but we live in a sometimes dangerous world. And when your child’s safety is on the line, it’s best to err on the side of caution — and ignore that voice in your head that’s worried about what others will think.
Rina Rapuano is the assistant food and wine editor at Washingtonian magazine and a contributing editor for Museum magazine.
She has also written for many local and national magazines and newspapers. E-mail her at
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