Let me preface this by saying two things:
First, Vice President Mike Pence is free to enact any arrangement with his wife that he pleases, and what has been popularized as the Pence Rule, in which he won’t have dinner or drinks alone with any woman who’s not his wife, doesn’t offend me in the slightest.
Second, I’m writing this piece specifically because I think it would be a waste of centuries of Western civilization to devolve into what Niall Ferguson has called “Secular Sharia” simply because we’re deciding to take sexual harassment and assault more seriously.
On that note, here’s why this Bloomberg report about Wall Street bankers refusing to dine, drink, or basically converse in any normal way with female colleagues is nonsense.
“A manager in infrastructure investing said he won’t meet with female employees in rooms without windows anymore; he also keeps his distance in elevators,” Bloomberg reports. “The changes can be subtle but insidious, with a woman, say, excluded from casual after-work drinks, leaving male colleagues to bond, or having what should be a private meeting with a boss with the door left wide open.”
Over 30 Wall Street senior executives “suggest many are spooked by #MeToo and struggling to cope.”
I’m sorry to hear that this moment in which millions of victims of sexual assault are being forced to relive their worst experiences is hard for you.
The response to the #MeToo movement should not be to listen to its fringe misandrists, just as the response to the pro-life movement is not to listen to its fringe misogynists. While there will surely be a persistent and small coalition of card-carrying feminists who balk at men holding doors open for them and interpret every innocent remark as abusive, the overwhelming majority of women simply want to work and get along with their colleagues.
Most women understand the difference between a male colleague’s genuine compliment on their work or cool shoes or a nice dress versus a leering remark meant to sexualize. In the same way, most women won’t interpret going out for a beer after work as a pass — unless you have the gall to throw your hand up her skirt. This really isn’t hard. Humans understand nuance.
An American Family Survey found that just 7 percent of women consider being asked to grab a drink as harassment. Just 1 in 20 consider asking someone to lunch to be so.
Most working women just want to be treated the same as their male counterparts. If it’s within the office culture to grab dinner or drinks, there’s no reason to exclude women from time that could serve as valuable office networking or building a rapport with coworkers. And furthermore, sensible women understand the difference between grabbing a casual bite after work versus being singled out for a one-on-one candlelit affair.
Women on the whole aren’t devolving into pearl-clutching snowflakes, but initiating puritanical policies devoid of nuance or reason certainly won’t help.
Now plenty of people will want to set limits on their association with the opposite gender because of their marriages or intimate relationships. It’s dumb to ridicule them and presumptuous for any stranger to try to dissuade them. But if a banking bro or angry feminist can’t discern the difference between friendly behaviors and lecherous ones, they ought to be sat down and lectured, not given the power to set workplace rules.
