The rise of woke muggle sports

Usually, if someone lives in a world full of magic, the last thing he or she wants is to be associated with muggles. As for the wizarding sports league, it is bending over backward to be welcomed by them.

The International Quidditch Association is changing its name due to copyright issues, along with its connection to author J.K. Rowling and her less than radical gender ideology.

In 2021, the league announced that it wanted to change its name. On Tuesday, it revealed that the “Q” in IQA will now stand for “quadball” rather than “quidditch.” Since Rowling believes in the scientific fact that humans cannot change their sex or gender by sheer force of will, IQA wishes not to be associated with the author’s wizarding world.

“J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter book series, has increasingly come under scrutiny for her anti-trans positions,” IQA said in a statement.

Though it is evident that IQA supports transgender issues, the probable reason is that it cannot legally use the word “quidditch,” which is trademarked by Warner Bros. Entertainment, the company that produced the Harry Potter film series. Still, to adhere to the rise of woke culture, IQA puts the cherry on top by altering the reason for the name change.

“I believe quidditch is at a turning point,” said USQ Executive Director Mary Kimball. “We can continue the status quo and stay relatively small, or we can make big moves and really propel this sport forward into its next phase. Renaming the sport opens up so many more revenue opportunities for both organizations, which is crucial to expansion.”

“We are confident in this step and we look forward to all the new opportunities quadball will bring,” Chris Lau, chairman of the IQA Board of Trustees, said in a statement. “This is an important moment in our sport’s history.”

History is truly being made. Major League Quidditch and U.S. Quidditch will use the term “quadball” so that they are also not to be confused with Rowling’s supposed bigotry — oh yeah, and to avoid a legal battle over rights that they cannot avoid. To be accepted by woke muggles, IQA saw its opportunity and took it.

Esther Wickham is a summer 2022 Washington Examiner fellow.

Related Content