Got laughs?!?
“Washington’s Funniest Celebrity.”
Sound like an oxymoron?
“This is like the Special Olympics of comedy,” said CNN’s Jamie McIntyre at Wednesday night’s “D.C.’s Funniest Celebrity Contest,” held at the DC Improv. The annual affair, now in its 15th year, has become notorious for most acutely demonstrating how a.) unfunny Washington is and b.) how few celebrities we really have.
To wit:
“I’m the guy everybody recognizes, but nobody knows,” said the event’s emcee, columnist Clarence Page.
“I don’t know what I’m doing here,” said former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee. “I don’t live in Washington, I’m not funny and I’m definitely not a celebrity.”
“What the hell am I doing here?” said Politico’s James Kotecki, a last minute fill in for MSNBC’s David Shuster.
Still, there were some decent lines sprinkled throughout the evening.
“Mike Huckabee believes that life begins at conception but also believes that life ends on March 27, 2012,” said The Onion’s Baratunde Thurston. “So mark your calendars.”
“Mitt Romney had more positions that an underage Chinese gymnast,” joked Huckabee.
“Following Jack Valenti as head of the MPAA is like following in the steps of Michael Jordan in basketball, or Michael Phelps in swimming or Dick Cheney in shredding the Constitution,” said current MPAA chief Dan Glickman.
“Here’s a joke: John McCain, Barack Obama and I are sitting at the debate,” said White House wannabe Bob Barr, who’s been grumbling lately about being excluded from presidential debates. And, one more: “What’s the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull?” asked Barr. “The bulldog gets vetted.”
Through it all, Huckabee’s star power managed to give him a victory over runner-up Kotecki (full disclosure: Yeas & Nays was a judge in this competition and thought Kotecki was much funnier. Sorry, Governor…), despite even the Huck-ster’s own admission that the crowd wasn’t terribly into his routine.
“I don’t support drinking in excess,” said Huckabee. “I’m a Baptist, and we’re tee-totalers. … But if your neighbor has something they haven’t downed yet, go ahead and take it. You’ll be glad you did and so will I.”
“This is a rough room,” said Huckabee at the conclusion of his routine. “You really do need to drink more.”
