Colbie Holderness, one of former White House staff secretary Rob Porter’s ex-wives, challenged comments made by White House counselor Kellyanne Conway concerning abuse, after Porter was accused of being abusive in both his previous marriages.
Holderness said that although she appreciated Conway said she had no reason not to believe her and Jennifer Willoughby’s allegations of abuse against Porter, she was “dismayed” when Conway said she was not concerned Porter was abusing “strong” White House communications director Hope Hicks, who is dating Porter.
“In the case of Hope, I rarely met somebody so strong with such excellent instincts, and loyalty, and smarts,” Conway said on CNN’s State of the Union Sunday.
Holderness said that Conway’s statements suggests those who have experienced abuse in past relationships are not strong.
“Recognizing and surviving in an abusive relationship take strength,” Holderness wrote in an op-ed published Monday by the Washington Post. “The abuse can be terrifying, life-threatening and almost constant. Or it can ebb and flow, with no violence for long periods. It’s often the subtler forms of abuse that inflict serious, persistent damage while making it hard for the victim to see the situation clearly.”
Holderness said sharing the details of abuse with others takes strength, as does “putting the pieces of your life back together” following an abusive relationship.
“Being strong — with excellent instincts and loyalty and smarts — does not inoculate a person against abuse. It doesn’t prevent her from entering into a relationship with an abuser,” she added. “Abuse often doesn’t manifest itself early on — only later, when you’re in deep and behind closed doors. The really ugly side of Rob’s abuse only came out after we married, following three years of dating.”
Holderness also addressed that White House press secretary Sarah Sanders declined to say Monday if Trump believes Holderness and Willoughby.
“While I cannot say I am surprised, I expected a woman to do better,” Holderness wrote.
However, Holderness closed by identifying an area where she and Conway had common ground.
“But Conway and I definitely agree on one thing she said during that interview: ‘There’s a stigma and a silence surrounding all these issues. . . . Those who are in a position to do something about it ought to,’” she wrote.
Porter announced Wednesday he would be stepping down from his post following reports of abuse.
According to the Daily Mail, Porter called Willoughby a “fucking bitch” while they were on their honeymoon and grabbed her out the shower on one occasion. The report also highlighted a protective order that she obtained against Porter in 2010.
Holderness then told the Daily Mail in a separate report that the former White House aide had punched her face and choked her, among other abuses. The second report featured a photo of his first wife with a black eye.
Porter has denied the allegations.
The situation has caused some to question why Porter, who had not obtained a full security clearance due to the allegations, was permitted to work in a top role in the Trump administration.
The incident has caused the White House to come under fire for its approach concerning allegations of misconduct.
