It’s 12 losses in a row and counting for the Minnesota Twins in the postseason, including nine straight against the New York Yankees. At this point, they’ll try anything to reverse the curse:
5. Royal blue glasses » Tinted specs could make New York’s gray away uniforms look like the Kansas City Royals. Technology alone, however, may not be enough to get the pinstripes out. Dumping a bucket of bleach into the New York laundry could be a start.
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4. Pay for starting pitching » That means no more Carl Pavano. If the Yankees couldn’t win a World Series with him in the rotation — or simply on the roster — there was no way it was going to happen for the Twins. Just for the heck of it, put in a call to Curt Schilling. If nothing else, he’d bring swagger.
3. Stop looking at the calendar » The Metrodome used to mask the weather. What the Twins really need to do is to hide from the month of October. They went 16-4 through the first 22 days of September, and then lost eight of their final 10 to end the season. They’re at the ball park every day — who cares what the date is?
2. Close up Target Field for the winter » Speaking of the weather, who wants to be outside in Minnesota after Sept. 30? Brrrr. Shut the building down, take the 94 wins and move to Florida with the grandparents. Shuffleboard starts at 4 p.m.!
1. Move to the National League » The Milwaukee Brewers have always wanted back in the American League anyway. Outside of the Midwest, no one will know the difference. That is, until the Twins get swept by the Yankees again — in the World Series.
