Here are the top five excuses liberals have offered for the failed rollout, in approximate order from most insane to least delusional:

1. Problems? What Problems?

‘The stories about difficulties enrolling in Obamacare are exaggerated. For most people who made a genuine effort, it worked. The media are pointing out minor flaws so they can have something to talk about.’

Except that the administration refuses to tell us how many people have enrolled, and the scant details trickling in from insurance companies suggest that the number of enrollees at the outset is … a trickle.

2. This Is a Republican Distraction

‘Republicans are claiming the Obamacare rollout was a failure to distract attention from the government shutdown, the debt ceiling, and their general unpopularity. They’re also harping on Obamacare’s technical problems to conceal the fact that the rate increases they predicted aren’t materializing.’

Except that Republicans have been vociferously criticizing Obamacare for four-and-a-half years, long before any of the Democrat-induced government funding and debt ceiling crises; and rates for young people are projected to go up in 45 states. Democrats are the ones who are secretly grateful for the shutdown distraction.

3. Republicans Are Racist

‘Conservatives are pointing out problems with Obamacare because they hate the fact that we have a black President. They’re willing to let the poor suffer and go without health care just to make Obama look bad.’

It’s true — racist Republicans like Allen West, Tim Scott, and Herman Cain just can’t stand the fact that Obamacare was authored by such African-American legislators as Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Max Baucus. You caught us, libs!

4. Republicans Are Naysayers

‘Republicans are being their typical pessimistic selves about government being able to help people. They’re nitpicking instead of helping find solutions.’

Except that IT professionals who know how a site like healthcare.gov should have been implemented are making ominous predictions about how the site will take months and possibly years to fix.

5. The Rocky Rollout Shows How Much Americans Love Obamacare

‘The administration didn’t foresee how wildly popular Obamacare would be. The groundswell of visitors to healthcare.gov overburdened the site’s servers.’

According to backwards liberal logic, healthcare.gov was a massive failure; ergo, tons of people tried to sign up for it. But IT specialists who have studied the site’s poor configuration suggest that the problem was not too many people getting on the site — that even a few people trying to get on would have experienced the same problems.

By the time December 31 rolls around, and the administration is either delaying the individual mandate for a year or suffering enormous public disapproval over its refusal to do so, Republicans’ government shutdown strategy might look positively prescient. Then Democrats will have no one to blame but themselves.