Not content to demand Play-Doh and puppy videos to soothe nerves after hearing unwelcome opinions, apparently 3 in 5 American millennials believe they live the most stressful existence in the history of mankind.
And it’s not even April Fools’ Day yet.
According to a survey of 2,000 millennials by the market research firm OnePoll, 58 percent of millennials say life is more stressful than ever before. Then again, their idea of stress isn’t exactly existential, such as worrying that the Soviets would nuke us to smithereens or that the world would run out of food and make us all cannibals (or something) by the 1980s.
Instead, the number one stressor listed by those surveyed was “losing wallet/credit card,” followed by “arguing with partner” and “commute/traffic delays.” Then fourth, gasp, was “losing phone,” and (skipping one) number six was the dreaded “slow WiFi.”
Oh, the humanity! This dreaded list is more horrifying than 20 Hindenburgs exploding above the Titanic’s iceberg. It ranks alongside such terrors as being served lukewarm soup and having a bad hair day.
To be fair, the millennials apparently didn’t claim any one of these stressors individually was the stuff of nightmares, but only that the “accumulation of daily micro-stressors” taken as a whole was what makes their lives so difficult. Perhaps so. But maybe someone should tell them about food rationing in World War II, or the specter of being drafted for Vietnam, or even gasoline lines that stretched for blocks, and hours, in the 1970s.
Really, the solipsism of these millennials is absurd. By almost every measurable imaginable, Americans today live in a veritable Nirvana. Consider the unemployment rate at or better than 4 percent for a full year, especially combined with inflation under 2 percent, wage hikes of 3 percent, effective tax rates lower than they have been for decades, and a generous social safety net that makes the effective poverty rate as low as it has ever been. This is the land, and the time, of plenty.
The world is, almost literally, at our fingertips. With the touch of a button, most of us can hail a ride, order food, find directions, transfer money, share photos with loved ones half a world away, listen immediately to any music we choose, and communicate with anyone, anywhere, without long-distance charges. Retailers cater to our every whim, often overnight.
Lung-choking pollution, including visible smog, is lower than at any time since the dawn of heavy industry, and streams and rivers flow clearer than they did 60 years ago. Fewer Americans have died in armed conflict since the War on Terror began 17 years ago than died in any single year in Vietnam from 1966 through 1970. For all the talk about the threat of terrorism, nearly four times as many American have died from lightning strikes since 9/11 than have died from terrorism.
And crime rates, despite a very small recent uptick, are far lower than they have been for many, many decades.
Has anything gotten harder? Well, we do now need to empty our pockets and walk through metal detectors at airports and sporting events. But flights are less expensive (inflation-adjusted) than ever, and more sporting events are viewable on TV or portable phone, basically for free, than anyone could have imagined 40 years ago.
Today’s young workers don’t even know what a payday bank line is, fer gosh sakes. They sure as heck don’t worry about always having handy a dime or quarter for emergency pay phone use.
Today’s America? Stressful? Poppycock. We live the easiest existence in human history and should be grateful for it.
