News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.
Examiner Columnist Scott Ott, editor of the world’s leading family-friendly news satire site, ScrappleFace.com, announced Thursday he was “stepping away from my important journalistic endeavors at The Washington Examiner in order to spend more time with the man who has been the inspiration for so much of my work, President Obama.”
Although Ott refused to confirm it publicly, White House insiders say Ott will ghostwrite even more of the president’s speeches, now that he’s not burdened by the nerve-jangling daily pressure of producing two newspaper columns each week.
“The State of the Union address took me nearly as long to script as it did for him to read,” Ott said. “I had to shave twice during that writing session … and the whole time, my Examiner editor was breathing down my neck.”
Being an unnamed presidential scriptwriter has its benefits, he added.
“I don’t like to boast, but I have been invited to some White House parties,” Ott said. “Although my name is not technically on the official guest list, the president and I are so close that I still get the full complimentary security screening and a personal hug from Vice President Biden each time.”
Like so many of his professional journalism colleagues, Ott will make the transition to the White House payroll “without really having to change anything about how I write.”
“What I loved about covering the president as a satirical journalist,” Ott said, “is that the stories wrote themselves. My fans, in their countless dozens, marvel that I came up with so much side-splitting satire. But frankly, it’s hard to take credit for what I have done. I’m just a stenographer sitting in the shadow of the masters. There’s not time or space to properly thank all of the Obama administration officials who have made my job so easy.”
