With the growing popularity of TiVo, video iPods and related consumer products that allow users to skip TV commercials, advertisers have become increasingly apprehensive about losing their ability to reach viewers.
I think I speak for the entire TV watching world when I say to the advertising industry, with utmost sincerity: “Boo hoo.”
Frankly, the amount of pity I can muster for TV advertisers’ woes is roughly equal to the sympathy I feel every time I hear OJ Simpson complain about his financial troubles or Paris Hilton whine that no one will take her seriously as an actress.
These are the people, after all, who regularly exposed viewers to that old woman clinging to her toilet seat and shouting “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”, daughters asking their mothers uncomfortable questions about feeling “not so fresh” and a duck that dispenses unsolicited workplace health care advice.
Speaking of which, I fear for the nation if anyone actually falls for these ads:
Employee: “So which health plan wound up offering the best coverage for the company’s work force?”
Boss: “Well, it was a tough decision, but in the end I thought the most compelling case was made by that duck on TV.”
Resilient as ever, advertisers have adjusted by seeking out opportunities to embed their products within the programs themselves. This practice, called “product placement,” is usually done subtly, as when characters on “CSI” analyze a bloody corpse while casually sharing a bucket of KFC chicken or the “American Idol” contestants sit on a sofa shaped like the Coca-Cola logo, sipping bottles of Coke and chatting with the show’s host, Ryan SeaCoke.
Like I said, subtle.
But product placement only works when it doesn’t intrude on a show’s premise. That’s why I was a bit disappointed when the season debut of “Lost” included a scene where the desperate castaways discuss their latest plan to get off the uncharted tropical island while drinking from Starbuck’s venti to-go cups.
Undoubtedly, the ideal product placement takes place unpredictably during a highly publicized event. The classic example would be the surge in Ford Bronco sales after OJ’s famous driving tour of Los Angeles. Apparently a large number of prospective car buyers, watching the coverage from their living rooms, turned to their spouses and commented, “Honey, remember how I said I was looking for a vehicle with good handling in low-speed freeway travel that I could also drive comfortably while holding a gun to my head? Well, I think my search is over.”
More recently, Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez unexpectedly boosted book sales for noted MIT professor and author Noam Chomsky when, during a speech to the United Nations, Chavez held Chomsky’s book aloft and angrily denounced President Bush.
A recently uncovered online chat between the two has led some to believe that the whole event was pre-planned, however. Here’s an excerpt:
RoaminNoam: So what are you gonna say to the U.N. tomorrow?
HugoDaBoss: Don’t tell, but I’m thinking about calling Bush the devil.
RoaminNoam: OMG! UR so funny!!! Any chance you can hold up my book too?
HugoDaBoss: lol. Sure y not?
RoaminNoam: kewl. And don’t forget to mention that it’s now available in paperback!
Frankly, I don’t care whether such episodes of guerrilla product placement are authentic or not. I just want in. And I even have plan. I just need to persuade Paris Hilton to hold up and read one of my columns while recording her next celebrity sex tape. And I think she’ll do it, since it will prove to her critics that she can act. That she can act like she knows how to read, that is.
Examiner columnist Malcolm Fleschner is just thankful that newspapers don’t come with a fast forward button yet.
