News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.
After a series of hidden-camera videos showed employees of the community organizing group known as the Association of Community Organizations for Reform Now in several cities offering advice on how to dodge tax laws to set up a brothel, ACORN’s chief executive officer said the organization would conduct a top-to-bottom review of its Brothel Consulting Services Division.
“Obviously, there’s been a breach of protocol here,” ACORN CEO Bertha Lewis said. “We do not approve of ACORN offices being used for the production of films starring pimps and prostitutes. We are not a film company, and the taxpayer money that funds our operations should not go toward that purpose. If you want to make films about pimps and prostitutes, you get a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.”
ACORN’s Brothel Consulting Services Division has strict guidelines regarding the recording of consultation sessions, she said.
“We’ve reviewed the video and were shocked to discover that confidentiality had been breached by the hidden cameras,” Lewis said. “Perhaps the scantily clad prostitute led our staff to forgo the normal wanding and pat-down.”
James O’Keefe, 25, and Hannah Giles, 20, who masqueraded as pimp and prostitute in O’Keefe’s video, told ACORN staff they wanted to import 13 Central American girls as workers in their sex-for-cash business, and were concerned about the tax implications and how to best accumulate money for O’Keefe’s future congressional campaign. ACORN employees gave helpful advice on everything from how to categorize the business for IRS reporting, to the best kind of container to use when burying unreported income in the backyard.
“As you see, our employees were nothing but helpful,” Lewis said. “We pride ourselves in offering cheerful, expert service to everyone regardless of race, creed or status as a performing artist.”
Lewis added that ACORN “remains committed to President Barack Obama’s goal to fundamentally transform the United States of America. And nothing in any of these videos would indicate that we have swerved from that commitment.”
Examiner Columnist Scott Ott is editor in chief of ScrappleFace.com, the world’s leading family-friendly news satire source.

