HITTING THE TREADMILL — LITERALLY
A downtown office worker hit the gym at lunchtime, where she noticed a fellow gym-goer on a treadmill wearing oversized white sunglasses.
Without giving it much thought, the office worker headed to the locker room. When she came out, the sunglass lady was walking away from the treadmill she’d been on. Perfect — a free exercise machine.
Fiddling with her iPhone to start her running playlist, she stepped onto the treadmill. Bam! She landed smack on both knees after stepping onto silently moving belt. Sunglass Woman had dismounted without stopping the machine.
Temporarily forgetting her usual ladylike decorum, the woman yelled, “Who the #*$% gets off a treadmill without stopping it?!” But by that time, Sunglass Woman was already hitting the showers.
HUNGRY FOR NEW VOTERS
An eager Obama campaign volunteer picked her way though the food trucks at Farragut Square, in a quest for unregistered voters amongst the hungry D.C. masses. “Excuse me,” she said, “Does anyone here live in Virginia and hasn’t registered to vote?”
Waiting in the heat, most food-seekers glanced irritably over their smartphones and shortly said, “No.” Others smiled and eagerly informed the campaign worker that they were in fact D.C. residents. Undaunted by the lack of results, the volunteer pressed forward.
ROAD RAGE
A Silver Spring resident recently found himself wishing for an SUV instead of the small Hyundai Accent he rented when he found himself being chased down a dark Arizona road by a Chihuahua.
The 6-foot-1 man was driving to his Tucson hotel, and the economy car was a tight squeeze. The road was dark and it was difficult for him to see. All in all, an uncomfortable drive.
All of a sudden, a Chihuahua bolted from the curb and ran toward the driver side door, barking and snarling.
The man was surprised by the dog’s viciousness and how quickly he attacked the car. He swerved to the right to avoid hitting the pesky canine. The Chihuahua continued his pursuit, until the car outran him — but not before he had shaken up the driver a bit.
“I was surprised that such a little dog could be so scary and bold,” he said.
NOT EXACTLY NATS FANS
Local riders of the Green Line from L’Enfant Plaza to points east bump heads with Washington Nationals baseball fans on occasion.
On one Friday when Metro experienced serious outages, Ron Hanna, a native of southeast Washington, watched as thongs grew particularly volatile. Each train that came into the station, packed with workers trying to get home, was ablaze with the red jerseys of Nats fans.
A few of the younger Green Line regulars could be heard uttering little anti-baseball diatribes as yet another train crept into the station packed with Nats fans. A fourth train came and some regulars were finally afforded space headed east.
And when the Nats fans on those exited at Navy Yard and the trains were suddenly spacious, there was unrestrained applause and a lambasting of baseball in general, the Nats in particular and the new demographic that has become part of Southeast Washington.
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