Longtime GOP pundit and Mitt Romney advisor Bay Buchanan has a message for conservatives pushing the message that single motherhood is all bad, especially for the kids: “Being a single mother made me a better mom.”
What? Didn’t know that her husband left her while she was carrying her third boy, now grown? Well it’s not something she advertised, but she also doesn’t hide it and is now using her experiences raising three “ragamuffins” to champion single moms who often face political sneers.
“You can’t be a failure if you’re a single mom,” says Buchanan, author of her new “Bay and Her Boys: Unexpected Lessons I Learned Being a (Single) Mom.” She explains, “After all, you are fighting for your kids.”
Even before former Vice President Dan Quayle’s rap on Murphy Brown, single mothers have been subjected to conservative questions about the impact on kids. But, she says, it’s not like many single moms had a choice in the matter and they instead need some guidance, not criticism. “There was never a supportive message for the single mom” from conservative critics, she adds.
Sure, says Buchanan, “if you can give ‘em a dad, give ‘em a dad, keep the family together.” She laments that her divorce was a “terrible loss” for her boys. But Buchanan moved on. “I did my best.”
Some nuggets of advice: Forget private time. “My time is their time.” Don’t bad mouth the absent dad and let him visit when he can. Find good male role models in friends and relatives. Pick your battles. And it’s OK to let the kids have cereal for dinner.
