‘Play the Game’ a contrived love story for the older generation

We sure aren’t in Mayberry anymore. The dowager who portrayed Seinfeld’s mother does something to Sheriff Andy Taylor in “Play the Game” that would give Aunt Bee the vapors. Thankfully, the act — one that Monica Lewinsky made famous — isn’t graphically shown. But the implication is clear enough to make you blush, if not nauseous. Consider yourself warned.

That ignominious incident isn’t the only thing that trifles with the dignity of a beloved TV legend, now an octogenarian who must be desperate for work. Andy Griffith’s mere presence here exploits our reserve of affection for him for the purposes of a romantic comedy that is not only cheap-looking and sporadically tasteless but also preposterous and seemingly endless.

Director-screenwriter Marc Fienberg does make one smart move: He features elderly characters in his contrived story of the love lessons shared between a recent widower and his womanizing grandson.

The AARP crowd is terribly underrepresented as the main characters in feature films. Older moviegoers must be desperate to see themselves reflected in their entertainment. How else to explain why “Play the Game” won audience awards at film festivals in Santa Fe, N.M., and Fort Lauderdale, Fla., (two major retirement centers)?

But just because it represents a laudable rarity — a movie about old people who are vital and even erotic — that doesn’t excuse the sitcom level of the narrative and of the overwrought acting. It’s not surprising, then, that most of cast are out-of-work former television stars.

Griffith plays lonely Grandpa Joe. His grandson David (“Battlestar Galactica’s” Paul Campbell) is a slick lothario who instructs Joe in his method of no-strings-attached seduction. But it is Joe who gradually evolves into the Don Juan of the assisted-living community. He finds himself caught up between the randy Edna (“Seinfeld’s” Liz Sheridan) and the flirty Rose (“Everybody Loves Raymond’s” Doris Roberts).

Meanwhile, much to the surprise of his best buddy (“The Cosby Show’s” Geoffrey Owens), David is the one who ends up violating his own rules. He accidentally falls hard in love — with Rose’s elusive granddaughter Julie (“The Practice’s” Marla Sokoloff).

The young David character undergoes a complete 180-degree transformation from shallow car salesman to chastened eldercare attendant during the course of “Play the Game.” That’s only the least of what’s wrong with a movie that has Andy Griffith uttering the disturbing observation, “I felt like a popsicle.”