Dear Seahawks fans,
They’re back. The Redskins are returning to java town and this time with a quarterback. You have three days left in your season before worryingabout the draft, free agency and minicamp.
Yes, that water on your cheeks won’t be raindrops for once. It’s called tears. Since Seahawks fans are a bunch of crybabies, you should recognize the look.
The 2005 playoff encounter revealed how thin-skinned residents of the northwest outpost can be. Lots of angry e-mails for suggesting the Redskins might win. Yeah, yeah, the Seawhawks won that day, but only because Redskins cornerback Carlos Rogers dropped an interception and quarterback Mark Brunell was awful. Neither is in the lineup this time.
We’re 2,328 miles apart, but I’m starting to sense a serious rivalry. Maybe it’s sibling rivalry since we’re both named after George Washington. Just remember Martha liked us best.
I’m not calling for another Starbucks boycott. Seems we now have one or two on every corner in our Washington, too. Nobody wants congressmen with the jitters — might get something done by mistake. But tell you what — keep your tall half-caf soy sugar-free ice mocha with no whip, caramel syrup, double shot expresso and a chocolate stick. Red Bull is half the price.
Sorry, maybe I’m just bitter over losing two umbrellas on the last trip to your rain forest. Nothing like wet hair and wrinkly hands on the red-eye home.
The Sonics beating the Bullets in the 1979 NBA Finals still irks me, too. That was the best pro basketball team in our Washington’s history. At least our Fat Lady sung the previous year. Your fat lady is Alice in Chains.
Meanwhile, I’m hating this Microsoft Vista on my new laptop. Please send that patch that enables logging on to wireless Internet requiring a password. Guess you guys invented that on a Friday afternoon.
Ihateseattle.com says Seattle is the midwest with none of the charm where you can’t dine between 2-5 p.m. unless it’s Red Robin. Actually, the site only cited four reasons to hate the town, it’s so boring. I can name10 for Green Bay and it’s smaller than Rockville.
You may have Bill Gates, but we have Robert Gates. Secretary of Defense trumps the lord of the PC.
Who needs the Emerald City anyway when we have Charm City down the street where the crabs are better than those steroid-legs you eat? Somebody call George Mitchell to investigate the Pacific seafood industry.
So go back to writing code. Play Nirvana. Wait for Mariners spring training.
But wake up and smell the coffee — the Seawhawks are going down.
And as for you Cowboys fans, enjoy the break. You’re on next week’s hit list.
Rick Snider has covered local sports since 1978. Contact him at [email protected].
