Our capital suffers from a crisis of aesthetics.

It’s not just, as the saying goes, that D.C. is just Hollywood for ugly people. But swamp monsters are also incapable of styling themselves. Ill-tailored Brooks Brothers suits and gauche pant suits hide the physiques of our occasionally fit neighbors. Despite being flushed with cash, half the men here can’t get a decent haircut, and the Botox jobs make the women look more stiff than Nicole Kidman in 2005.